Someone just randomly said – it’s all about going through the phase, it’s all about being through that tunnel, it’s all about feeling that experience! May be then I was a little naive in my childhood to understand how deep this meant and how it impacts everything around! Many times, we listen to experiences narrated maybe we even visualize the same or see the actual things in videos. But still there is a constant urge to experience it in person. Have you wondered why so? Because few things are to be felt! Everyone says falling in love is one the most beautiful thing one could ever feel, a father’s hug is safest. mother’s lap is most soothing pillow to fall asleep – but only when we experience it by our own self. Looking at this other way – many a times people do warn us of not to do few things – but it so happens that we only understand when we ourselves face the consequences. Not that we don’t trust them but that “urge”!! That urge to know what it feels like, that urge to go through all of it and note it to self, that urge to simply know yourself better while you are going through the process!
Many a times we spend time thinking of the things that happened either yesterday or may be somewhere in the past. And if not this we find ourselves thinking of what tomorrow, what after 2 years what after 5 years!!
Isn’t it weird that we spend the present thinking about the future or the past and the fact is – out of the both none is in our hands right now! What we have now is the present moment. Like maybe you plan of next 10 years but what if you change your city, you change your profession, what if the situation demands of a change which was not thought in your Plan A, B and C!
Not insisting that don’t plan! No, you should have an estimate, you should have a flowchart in your mind of what next! But don’t spend so much time in planning that you forget to live the present.
The day is yours make fullest of it. You need to know this – the day that you have planned has also planned something for you. You have only one day at a time. And remember no day is just a day – be it a lazy Sunday or be it motivated Monday – every day has 24 hours; every day has opportunities with it. You might get an opportunity tomorrow but the one missed today is missed forever. Be open to all of it. Some might be great some might not be that great.
Remember not every person who slept last night wake up today morning. Which simply means that today if you are able to see the morning sun rays, if you feeling the cool breeze, if you are hearing the birds chirp you also have something yet to be done. And so, you are gifted with a new set of 24 hours!
To complete the incomplete. Today is the first day of rest of your life. Yesterday was done and no matter what you cannot undo things which you did yesterday, Future is yet to come and therefore only what remains in your hand is today!
Be thankful for every day. Affirm to yourself every time “today is a gift given by God and I will make sure to live it to the best I can”
Dad always says this to me – Have the ability to see magic and enjoy in every small thing! He finds thrill and excitement in the most ordinary events and happenings be it as small as watering the plants or cleaning the veranda!
Thinking on this, I came to some beautiful thoughts which I am going to summarize here. In school times, we every one must have a memory of that one teacher who made even the boring subjects pretty interesting, we had a spark even after knowing the fact that particular teacher will be taking up the subject. Have you wondered why? It is simply because of the vibes a particular person creates. The enthusiasm that is radiated makes you be in their presence.
Never let yourself get dull. Let us make a habit to believe that we possess significant reserves of health, energy, endurance, goodness and so much more! Many people are paralyzed, not in their limbs but in their thoughts and for that we need to improvise our thought process. Affirm yourself that today is the day of opportunity.
Successful living may be measured by the extent of your enthusiastic participation in life. If you are mentally not satisfied of what you get never be satisfied regardless of the achievement – give in more, be more excited about new things, put yourself into it more! Satisfy your soul, rest all will be done rightly!
Summing up the summary!!
Practice calmness
Do something everyday which makes your soul happy
Pray everyday
Flush negativity out of your mind with enthusiasm and optimism
Take interest in smallest tasks deliberately till it becomes your natural way to live
Nowadays due to jobs, career, education or some or the other reason we have to distance from our families at quite an early age! And once we step of the house maximum is the case that you only return back on functions or occasions and with time that too vanishes!
Joint family is being like rarest scenarios in today’s era! Just tried why joint families are not preferred – simple reasons being – youngsters of our generation need freedom, privacy and hate being monitored!
But these are just a few points where we focus on and tend to forget the benefits or rather the perks of staying in a joint family! Perks are as many as you count. Highlighting a few – a mental support – COVID has tested our mental strength at its peak! And most of the nuclear families did choose going back to hometowns – why – simple reason – family makes you stronger, it makes you believe in yourself when you lose hopes! Family stands by you when your shadow too choses to leave your side!
Feeling of being responsible and answerable to our elders – even the feeling of your father/mother being back at home makes you a little more responsible to be with your family on weekends, to be there at home on time, to shut your system and spend quality time with the kids of family! Decisions taken by youth are hard and fast – many a times we lack patience and calmness in deciding for a situation which can be guided well by the elders as they have seen a little more of world and worldly things than us! We as youth tend to splurge on things which are scrapped within a month whereas the same luxuries can be availed from available things at home!
Children born in nuclear family where both parents have their corporate lifestyles – are either brought up in creche or somewhere where supervision lacks love and warmth every child deserves. Whereas grandparents back at home face loneliness in their retired life – when these two ends meet – they make a better life – kids enjoy their childhood under the shelter of family and are brought up with values. Though working parents try making their best possible way out to train their kids but ultimately time is their constraint which gradually makes one parent compromise their career – and easiest solution being joint family – where kids are constantly attended by some one or the other and grandparents are taken care of with their health as well as. The retired age being the time they just need love, affection and respect is also paid heed to.
And lastly though not of prime importance but yes it does matter – We do have upper hand on financial terms as well – Something described as economies of scale – Two different set ups for sure is costlier than a single set up for two families. Expenses being shared (as simple as rent being shared by two brothers surely saves huge cost then two brothers staying in different apartments in same city) and labour being divided joint family does make your off days a little lighter.
There can be unavoidable situations where we travel far from families but there must be something which does call you back to your origin – where your heart longs to celebrate smallest victory with your parents and share biggest failures and have strength to stand back more stronger!
Of course, there can be arguments that there is no individual space or there is no privacy but then like we as children have evolved many of the families do have parents who themselves take initiatives to make sure that their daughters and daughters-in-law peacefully work and build their careers! Many have set examples where girls have completed their education post marriage and give credits to the support received from their in-laws. So with modernization in all matters – let us just broaden our horizons of joint family concept – where parents are being a little more open to accept the work culture of their children (be it the son or daughter or even daughter-in-law for that matter) and children being a little tolerant to parents at times when they become to instructive, where parents are little more welcoming to include every person before deciding matters of family and children are matured enough to understand the thought process of parents’ decision
After all – everything is a two-way process – the more love and care you give the more affection and respect you receive. The more you tend to understand someone the more other person tends to explain reasons!
I would just conclude by – “No Family is perfect, every family argues, they fight, they cry but the essence of love and bond is felt when the tears are wiped with sensitivity and arguments are calmed with pure hugs, no family has only ups the real bonds are tested when there are downfalls, when your brother stands by you in storms and sisters cook on your smallest victory, where you celebrate your wife’s first job with home-cooked lunch specially made by the in-laws and the ice cream party with her first salary and your child’s first trophy is flaunted by his grandparents on their whatsapp friends’ group!
It’s the smallest happiness which turns to delicious evenings and loads of memories when family stays together! Joint families are no more the old-school types where daughters aren’t a part of discussions and daughters’-in-law aren’t allowed to step out of the house. Weekend evenings are fast turning to dining table conferences where women head the table and men cook food [though kitchen are made messy but then that’s okay ;)], where the small terrace gardens are cared with full family and kitchens are cleaned by kids. Yes – joint families are changing on a very positive note!
You’re just an imitation of what is around you, its just that you don’t imitate one person; you take bits and pieces of hundred people and make yourself
I was small when my mum always had a concern of all the tiny heads which would flock in our house to play, laugh, complete homework and enjoy the best days of life. It wasn’t the mess we created in and around that dreaded her, it was the children coming home, their upbringing and their culture in which they were brought which was her concern! She was very keen on choosing the right people as friends and I always had a grudge as to its okay whosoever they are! I just play with them and will not be influenced with any of their habits! But then entering the house without a brief introduction of my friends was next to impossible!
Now when I started analysing things myself and knowing the psychology behind her worried eyes, I totally agree to her! You are known by the company you keep! Not because it’s a saying! But because your brain constantly snaps images of the attitudes – be it good or bad of all the people you surround with. These small snaps taken slowly and steadily start throwing impression on our personality! And to be checked out in practise – take an example if your boss is in a grumpy mood and you happen to be the target point as soon as you have taken your seat early morning. You are thrashed and abused in hard words in front of a few colleagues, later you take the same grumpy vibes to the cafeteria which is simply carried ahead to your kids waiting back home. So, you see, you gradually become the way you receive vibes! You read a positive quote and you are all filled with motivation. Atleast for the next few days you work with a new energy and focus!
So, it’s simple – I vibe, your vibe… WE VIBE. Be surrounded with positive people, the optimistic ones, those which send you a positive energy! Those who allow you to be a little better than your best version
Commitment – a high voltage word! Your partner asks you a commitment in your relationship, you boss asks you the same for your job, your team asks for it on the field and so on and so forth.
But have you wondered what of you fall short in what you actually commit – you lose… you simply lose your respect, your value your position; but then is it easy to commit!? No, not all rather! Had it been easy to commit why would the repercussions be so hard.
When you say you commit a thing – you mean that you are ready to devote your entire energy on that stuff! You mean that you will stand up 101sttime even if you fall a hundred times! So, there falls your answer – Why incredible things happen when you commit yourself to it! It happens because you dedicate the best phase of you to the task not just to complete it, but to complete it in a way which shocks your own self. You commit when you desire to watch things beyond perfection.
“Always be careful of where you run to. When the going gets tough, take it easy and slow down, else you venture into the den of lions.” Just wait and take time to observe what the nature has to tell you. Everything need not be perfectly as per your plan everytime but yeah you cannot blindly step into things without plan at any time!!! Before taking a giant leap just stop to notice that what and how the small steps taken will help you to stand out better and brighter. Take every step cautiously be it in terms of academics, social, personal or any other genre.
“Don’t ever step in the market unprepared and unplanned
Make it a point to give your best shot, with proper plan and preparations
You might be slow to reach your goal, but definitely you will stay there longer and stronger”
Samaj hi nai aaya…
Kal hawa rukh iss kadar badla badla kyu paaya
Andaaz toh unke kal b the wahi
Nazakat toh humaari bhi badli nahi
Fir jaane anjaane mai aise kya hua
Ki ibadat mai mange hum unke liye dua
Safar anjaana tha…
Anjaane toh hum b the…
Fir bhi…kabhi chahkr toh kabhi unchahe…
Hum iss raah par hasskar chal diye…
Hath naa unhone humaara thaama tha…
Naa unka sahara banna humne chaha tha…
Par waqt…
Waqt ne mere maula…
Naa jaane kab usko mera khuda…
Aur mujhe uska jeena bana diya
MILE VO UNSE ANJANE MAI USS ROJ
JAB DIL KO NA TOH THI KHWAISH
NA HI KISI KI KHOJ
NAZREIN MILI AUR LAFZON KA BHI LEN DEN HUA
MULAKAT KHATAM HUYI PAR NAA JAANE KYU
UNKI YAADEIN DIL KO AKELE CHOD NAA PAAYI
HAZARON DAFA KABHI USKI ADAIEN TOH KABHI VO KHUD YAAD AAYI…
HULCHUL TOH HUYI THI DIL MAI…
PAR DOSTI KA PARDA AADE AA GAYA…
PEHEL KON KARE AB ISS KASH-MA-KASH MAI DAAL GAYA…
LADKE KO LAGA KAHI DOSTI NA TUT JAAYE
AUR LADKI SOCHNE LAGI VO SAMNE SE AAYE…
AAKHIR YAHA BHI LADKI NE BAAZI MAAR HI LI…
KAR DIYA IZHAAR…
BINA KOI KHOF KI HOGA INKAAR YA IQKRAAR…
AUR BASS CHAL PADI PYAAR KI YE KASHTI…
SAFAR BASS DO PAL KA THA YA ZINDAGI BHAR KA..
YE NA TOH THA PATA NA HI KOI KHABAR…
PAR FIR BHI USS ANJAANE RAASTE PAR CHAL DIYE
CHALTE CHALTE PATA HI NAI CHALA…
KAB HATH THAM LIYA…
SAMAJ HI NAHI AAYA…
KAB DOSTI AASHIQI MAI BADAL GAYI…
RAHON MAI FOOL BARSAATE
AUR KAATEIN HATATE
PYAAR KA INKE KUCH ALAG THA ANDAAZ
CHOTE BACCHO JAISE JHAGAD NE K INKE ALAG HI H MIJAAJ
EK THA MAA KA LADLA DUJI THI PAPA KI DULARI…
EK KO PIZZA TOH DUSRE KO BHAJI POORI THI PYAARI
EK DUSRE KO GIRAATE BHI YAHI
AUR GIRNE PAR BACHATE BHI YAHI
EK KO MOVIE SCREEN PAR SARSON K KHETON KA I LOVE YOU SIMRAN THA PASAND
TOH DUSRE KO TOD FOD KARNE WALA SINGHAM THA PASAND
PYAAR MAI DOSTI AUR DOSTI MAI PYAAR
INKI KAHANI KA YAHI H SAAR…
MAHINO BEET GAYE
DONO EK DUSRE KO AUR ACCHE SE JAAN GAYE
SIRF ACCHAI NAHI
PAR BOORI AADTEIN BHI DONO KO BHA GAYI
BAAKIYON K JAHA AAJ BREAK UP
AUR KAL KISI AUR SE PATCH UP HOTE RAHE
WAHI YE DONO APNE CHOTE SE GHOSLE K SAPNE SAJATE RAHE
DONO K IRAADEIN BANDAN MAI BANDHANE KI SOCH MAI LAG GAYE…
AASAN TOH NAA SAATH AANA THA…
NAA HI SAATH NIBHANA…
KABHI KHUD KI NOK JHOK
TOH KABHI SAMAJ PARIWAR KI ROK TOK
RUKAWATEIN TOH BAHOT AAYI…
PAR DONO NE BASS THAAN LI…
ZINDAGI EK DUSRE K SAATH SE H BANANI
MOHBBAT MAI MITTE BAHOT H
INHONE SAATH JEENE KI KASMEIN KHAYI…
SHIKAYATEIN SHAYAD AAJ BHI H
AAGE BHI HOGI…
PAR SAATH MAI UNKA HAL BHI INHI K PYAAR MAI H BHAI…
HONSLE TOH BULAND PEHLE BHI THE…
PAR AB BADON K ASHIRWAD SE YE AUR BHI JYADA MAJBOOT H…
SAAT SAALON BAAD
7 FEBRAURY KO KIYA HUA VAADA
AAJ SAAT FERON K SAATH POORA HONE JAA RAHA H
ISSI PYAAR BHARE DIN PAR…
MERA YE CHOTA SA TOUFA KABOOL KARO…
MERE PYAARE BHAIYA BHABHI KO
APNE NAYE SAFAR K LIYE DHER SAARA PYAAR…
BECAUSE SEVEN YEARS IS NOT A SMALL SPAN TO STAND STRONG IN ODDS WHERE THERE IS NO WAY OUT… THERE’S DARKNESS AND STILL YOU STRIVE FOR RAY OF LIGHT PEEPING THROUGH!!!
WISHING YOU ALL HAPPINESS, LOADS OF LOVE AND TONS OF SMILES AND STRENGTHS TO FIGHT BACK EVEN FURTHER…
MORE OFF…. CONGRATS TO MY EVER SMILING, MY BHAI’S WEAKNESS AND HIS STRENGHT, TO THE BUBBLY GIRL WHOSE MY DARLING BHABHI
Few stories just touch your life, few incidences make a home in your heart and never leave that place, a few moments just pass by and we don’t even realize! And the people behind these memories gradually become the MAINS in life – they become the permanent ones!
It was in grade 5 that these three girls met, gelled up and now were inseparable besties! From sharing their tiffin to sharing the first crushes they have even cried nights together on their first heart breaks! Both had a different mindset, a distinctive idea about life and life goals but still neither of the two took smallest decisions without each other! But then this blog happens to just describe one of two darlings – because it is her day today!
Samy, (my future wedding dress designer!!) a girl with a thousand dreams in her eyes, she holds a spark which can illuminate the lives of her loved ones and even burn out the one who thinks ill about her bestie (that’s me!). Our meet was destined at school – Stella Maris High School, where we gelled up as “good friends” with those lunch time talks and assignments. Later, this good friend bond was taken to a next level during the tuition classes. All this happened, when we chose walking with our bicycles then to riding them home so that we could steal some extra time and complete our talks about everything and anything, when we saved our pocket money to treat our choosy tongue with paani-puri, when we went for extra classes so that we could enjoy during the breaks. Life was fun then. It was only about school to home to tuitions to back home again. Never did we thought much about the economic depression of India neither did the ruling parties ever affect us! With farewell in school everyone was lost, people whom we knew for nearly 12 years were now just known strangers. A few stayed back for a year or so and they too were lost – but these girls are still with me. It’s about 18 years and we proudly celebrate every day as a friendship day! It isn’t that we meet up daily or we hangout every weekend. At times it happens that for months we don’t see each other, but the bond remains the same!
Samy, you have really been the best accident of my life! The best “jhagdalu-friend”, the best dumbo, the best melo-drama queen, the typical Punekar-foodie who is ever hungry, the tulsi baug to hong-kong lane wali “i-don’t-bargain” girl, my secret box, my gossip girl whose every call starts – Ae Aishe, tula mahiti ka kay zala, my designer, angry bird and the words might fall short to describe the versatility in this girls behaviour, rather in simple words her mood swings!
Samy, you indeed mean a lot to me (and even Cee). I know tu thoda irritating ahes! But it is okay, we are fine with it! Have a wonderful year ahead darling. Stay blessed and keep smiling because I have enough problems and always new mess to be solved by you!
Aishwarya Jaju 