Someone just randomly said – it’s all about going through the phase, it’s all about being through that tunnel, it’s all about feeling that experience! May be then I was a little naive in my childhood to understand how deep this meant and how it impacts everything around! Many times, we listen to experiences narrated maybe we even visualize the same or see the actual things in videos. But still there is a constant urge to experience it in person. Have you wondered why so? Because few things are to be felt! Everyone says falling in love is one the most beautiful thing one could ever feel, a father’s hug is safest. mother’s lap is most soothing pillow to fall asleep – but only when we experience it by our own self. Looking at this other way – many a times people do warn us of not to do few things – but it so happens that we only understand when we ourselves face the consequences. Not that we don’t trust them but that “urge”!! That urge to know what it feels like, that urge to go through all of it and note it to self, that urge to simply know yourself better while you are going through the process!
Was just scrolling down through Insta feed and read this line “You against you” – thoughtful at first glance and it really did take me to world of thinking, analysing and understanding.
You write your own story.
Don’t give yourself an opportunity to rationalize with the voice that shouts out to quit. To the dreamers out there, don’t ever let the world’s negativity get into to you. Surround yourself with happy and positive people, nothing can be impossible.
Recalling one incidence that I had heard in one of my school assemblies – a tiny hole in the ship can make it sink. Similarly, when you relate that tiny hole to the unfavourable thoughts in your mind your capacity to grow and think beyond the boundaries starts sinking. Your growth gets stagnant. Explore more with the attitude that Yes! Come what may I will get things through! I will get things done!
Here is one more beautiful illustration that was narrated by our value education teacher when we were in primary school – She asked us to do this experiment at home and write down our observations. Take boiling water in two tins – to one you add an egg and to the other you boil in a potato!
Many students had their observations. But the main learning here was – the external environment for both was same but ultimately one became hard and the other became soft ready to mushed. Not that the one which was hard was better and other was not – both were ready to be served, both were rightly ready in their way. The key observation was the reaction to the outside factors
It is all about the way we react to the environment. Situations might be same for two different people but the reaction to that decides where will you land to. Both might choose a different path and both might be right on their choices. It is all within you that you need for what you want to achieve!
Trust yourself! You can do wonders to yourself. Think rightly and you will be astonished to see the beautiful changes around you.
When we love someone dearly – in the process of falling in love with someone we forget that we need to love ourselves as well! We get so much into someone that we tend to forget that the other person might leave as well and person who will be there by us left broken and shattered will be our very own self.
I am not at all with the view that don’t fall in love – not at all – fall in love, get bruised, fight, argue love and love again – it is the most wonderful feeling ever one can feel off – but in the journey don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t forget the fact that even if you give in your 100% it isn’t necessary that things work as you dream – there can be number of situations for where you may have to part – be it for your career, be it for your family, be it anything!
But when you get attached to someone more then yourself the harm you cause is you start feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, you start feeling incomplete in your own presence. Understand yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself first.
Because end of all the only person to accompany you in all phases is yourself – carry something good from every phase and respect your own self.
Nowadays due to jobs, career, education or some or the other reason we have to distance from our families at quite an early age! And once we step of the house maximum is the case that you only return back on functions or occasions and with time that too vanishes!
Joint family is being like rarest scenarios in today’s era! Just tried why joint families are not preferred – simple reasons being – youngsters of our generation need freedom, privacy and hate being monitored!
But these are just a few points where we focus on and tend to forget the benefits or rather the perks of staying in a joint family! Perks are as many as you count. Highlighting a few – a mental support – COVID has tested our mental strength at its peak! And most of the nuclear families did choose going back to hometowns – why – simple reason – family makes you stronger, it makes you believe in yourself when you lose hopes! Family stands by you when your shadow too choses to leave your side!
Feeling of being responsible and answerable to our elders – even the feeling of your father/mother being back at home makes you a little more responsible to be with your family on weekends, to be there at home on time, to shut your system and spend quality time with the kids of family! Decisions taken by youth are hard and fast – many a times we lack patience and calmness in deciding for a situation which can be guided well by the elders as they have seen a little more of world and worldly things than us! We as youth tend to splurge on things which are scrapped within a month whereas the same luxuries can be availed from available things at home!
Children born in nuclear family where both parents have their corporate lifestyles – are either brought up in creche or somewhere where supervision lacks love and warmth every child deserves. Whereas grandparents back at home face loneliness in their retired life – when these two ends meet – they make a better life – kids enjoy their childhood under the shelter of family and are brought up with values. Though working parents try making their best possible way out to train their kids but ultimately time is their constraint which gradually makes one parent compromise their career – and easiest solution being joint family – where kids are constantly attended by some one or the other and grandparents are taken care of with their health as well as. The retired age being the time they just need love, affection and respect is also paid heed to.
And lastly though not of prime importance but yes it does matter – We do have upper hand on financial terms as well – Something described as economies of scale – Two different set ups for sure is costlier than a single set up for two families. Expenses being shared (as simple as rent being shared by two brothers surely saves huge cost then two brothers staying in different apartments in same city) and labour being divided joint family does make your off days a little lighter.
There can be unavoidable situations where we travel far from families but there must be something which does call you back to your origin – where your heart longs to celebrate smallest victory with your parents and share biggest failures and have strength to stand back more stronger!
Of course, there can be arguments that there is no individual space or there is no privacy but then like we as children have evolved many of the families do have parents who themselves take initiatives to make sure that their daughters and daughters-in-law peacefully work and build their careers! Many have set examples where girls have completed their education post marriage and give credits to the support received from their in-laws. So with modernization in all matters – let us just broaden our horizons of joint family concept – where parents are being a little more open to accept the work culture of their children (be it the son or daughter or even daughter-in-law for that matter) and children being a little tolerant to parents at times when they become to instructive, where parents are little more welcoming to include every person before deciding matters of family and children are matured enough to understand the thought process of parents’ decision
After all – everything is a two-way process – the more love and care you give the more affection and respect you receive. The more you tend to understand someone the more other person tends to explain reasons!
I would just conclude by – “No Family is perfect, every family argues, they fight, they cry but the essence of love and bond is felt when the tears are wiped with sensitivity and arguments are calmed with pure hugs, no family has only ups the real bonds are tested when there are downfalls, when your brother stands by you in storms and sisters cook on your smallest victory, where you celebrate your wife’s first job with home-cooked lunch specially made by the in-laws and the ice cream party with her first salary and your child’s first trophy is flaunted by his grandparents on their whatsapp friends’ group!
It’s the smallest happiness which turns to delicious evenings and loads of memories when family stays together! Joint families are no more the old-school types where daughters aren’t a part of discussions and daughters’-in-law aren’t allowed to step out of the house. Weekend evenings are fast turning to dining table conferences where women head the table and men cook food [though kitchen are made messy but then that’s okay ;)], where the small terrace gardens are cared with full family and kitchens are cleaned by kids. Yes – joint families are changing on a very positive note!
Ananya – love is a feeling, it’s something that your heart feels for someone you are very comfortable with. Can a flower un-bloom and go back to be a bud, can a tree go back to be a small sapling, can you be a baby again – NO, right? That was a process witnessed. Same is love, it’s a beautiful journey you travel. Sometimes things work and at times they don’t. Just because you couldn’t make up to the destination doesn’t of course mean that you scramble up the entire journey! Just because you couldn’t end up in togetherness doesn’t mean that the time spent with the him were shit scrap! Ananya, sometimes God takes a person away because he has some plans for you in life, may be because he has got a better destination for you!
With that puppy face of hers and tears pouring out as if she will be filling buckets out of it, she asked me – Aisha, then why does God even take us to the wrong journey when he already knows that the destination won’t be met? And again, the unknown source of philosophy on me had to explain her saying – “Ananya, when you have evening walks holding your dad’s hand and just walk, do love the walks or do you love coming back home!? And she as innocent as baby answered the question saying I love our talks on the way! I love the time we spend, the silent streets and its me who chirps and dad who listens to the non-stop FM radio of mine! She went on elaborating till the time she herself realized the point and simply said “But Aisha, the situation is different, whenever I walk along with another guy, I remember the past! I accept the journey was one of the most mesmerizing one but then I can’t get over it!
Now what was there which I had to explain her regarding this statement of hers! Of course, I couldn’t end the discussion abruptly but this was also a dark truth that I had no words which could help her out at the very moment and so I finally got up… let myself to the window where fresh air took me to better thought processing! And Ananya followed me! She scribbled her name on the window pane and looked to my eyes expecting an answer!
And there I start again… felt as if the cool breeze was flowing through my words – Ananya, I went on – Tell me one thing what happens when you are too happy all the time – Answering the question myself I said – Look you cant be succeeding all the time, you cant have all the happiness at a stretch, you can’t always find yourself in the best places – because if that happens so then what will the magic be in dreams. We dream of things which are difficult. We don’t dream of eating an ice cream or simply walking down the street, do we? No, because we know that those are simplest things and they happen as if they are the routine!
To make one-self strong you need to go through rejections, failures and fall through a few phases in life. The way you warn yourself to run slowly over bad roads! The way you warn yourself before touching hot glass of milk! Similarly, your heart also needs to go through some ups and down to understand what is right and what is wrong, to decipher what hurts and what heals, to feel love and fall in love! Ananya it is a process and you can’t skip it gal!! You need to make yourself strong from all of this and face it all like lady not like a childish girl! My words were making their way through her heart and wow the smile I could see through her tears was a million dollar one! Felt like it was all done! I know she wasn’t convinced with the thought forever but yeah, she did acknowledge that though you can’t unlove someone, but you can surely fall in love once again and still be happiest! And I was happy to gift myself a self-declared position of a philosopher!
Love is one of purest feeling you can ever experience. You may fall in love and bruise yourself, you may feel the love and hurt yourself, you may even find yourself the most messed up when things go wrong in love! All I can always say is – LOVE CAN’T EVER BE WRONG!! You may love the wrong person, you may fall for a person at a wrong time! But as long as your heart feels your right! Love can’t ever mislead you! Love and spread love!
It was a chilly winter midnight, where the only warmth around me was my childhood friend – Ananya- the non-stop chitter chatter. It was the fourth mug of coffee throwing up steams and refreshing the room with the aroma of coffee beans which acted more like a catalyst to our brains and helped us walk down the memory lane where we revisited our kindergarten small shoes and hanky pinned uniform to the high pony and short skirts in high school. The first ever class we bunked and did nothing other than smelling the camphor balls in the washroom, the first ever stage play where my chatter queen was just an idol! The first dance where we wanted to apply all the shades of eye colors, make our cheeks as red as that of a clown and flaunt off as if we were the only girls on planet Earth! We grew and so did our talk progress – till a point of time our cheeks only had a smile, a feeling of how beautiful school was and how amazing the teachers were then.
One more mug of coffee was down and we realized that the smiles made our cheeks pain, sitting on the kitchen top with all albums from school to college to graduation to post graduation and finally being placed the clock stroke 4:00 am and we still had to revisit the most of abnormal days of life! And suddenly Ananya had her fingers stop on a picture, she gazed at it and even the hot coffee mug that touched her baby soft skin could not get her out of the land that the picture took her to.
She just looked at me, her beautiful eyes expressed the emotions the picture took her through, the tears elegantly clinged her eyes as if a pearl was placed. The tear didn’t flow off and she simply uttered a question – Aisha, can we un-love someone? Can we unwind life? Can a series of good memories be simply deleted forever and ever? And she stopped, she didn’t have a single emotion on her face! The entire chirpy night was now taken to a silent closed room where even slightest breeze touching the window panes felt like a mini disaster, I could feel the coffee cold which was as if adding to the sad atmosphere. She looked at me with all questions as if they were screened in her eyes. I just quickly cleared of the other pictures to make a place to sit by her, held her baby soft pink which froze like ice, still clueless of what was I gonna explain her by getting into this philosophical pose. I just looked into her eyes and as if there was someone speaking from me – I shot a big lecture as if I was working on a research paper on the topic!
And Aisha had so much to explain about all this!!! Which will be seen in Part II very soon!!!!
A gift-wrapped box having 12 months… more than 50 weeks and 365 new chances to make better mistakes!!
New year Resolutions! New year Goals! New year – this and new year that!! So many plans on day one and not to anyone’s surprise its hardly 5-6% that stays till the year end! A few might break tomorrow morning – because winter mornings are better in the cozy blanket then the gym!!
What are my new year plans!? Resolutions!? Goals!?
Its as complicated as simplest thing…
But then would love to share the foundation of my plans for myself this here! May be ones without any plans do get one – So 2020 is not only start of new year but also start of new decade!
What I have figured out after being on this planet earth for a more than 2 decades now and seeing the century change from 1900’s to 2000’s!!! (Oh wow! It sounds so matured – which of course is just a fake candid writing – if such term exists for writers!)
Give in your 100% in everything – not only happy things but also things which make you sad! (shocked – but then yeah that’s it!) When you laugh with all your muscles getting stretched and you rolling on the floor why can’t you cry out as loud as you throw out all the discontent!? Why is that only your pillow knows that you cry or the washroom tap hides your weeping sound! Enjoy crying as well! (I know new year – first day – and its so very depressing to speak about the tears stuff! But then come on we can face it right!?) I will be myself this year – I will make myself a better me! I don’t want perfection at first sight but I promise myself to make better mistakes and learn out of it! If I take up a task, I put in the best efforts to complete it in the best possible way I could do that!
And the next and last thing thought is – be the hope! Be human!! Feel for people and not for machines! Drop by drop fills a mighty ocean! And so is the race of humanity – let it start from small efforts and make world a better place to be in!
Rest – goals for the year are always high – be a better professional, exercise daily! Do this and do that! But then that’s on everyone’s list! This was somethings that I found unique on first page of my diary! Do share if you have something happening like this! You never know who gets inspired by you!!
Commitment – a high voltage word! Your partner asks you a commitment in your relationship, you boss asks you the same for your job, your team asks for it on the field and so on and so forth.
But have you wondered what of you fall short in what you actually commit – you lose… you simply lose your respect, your value your position; but then is it easy to commit!? No, not all rather! Had it been easy to commit why would the repercussions be so hard.
When you say you commit a thing – you mean that you are ready to devote your entire energy on that stuff! You mean that you will stand up 101sttime even if you fall a hundred times! So, there falls your answer – Why incredible things happen when you commit yourself to it! It happens because you dedicate the best phase of you to the task not just to complete it, but to complete it in a way which shocks your own self. You commit when you desire to watch things beyond perfection.
MILE VO UNSE ANJANE MAI USS ROJ
JAB DIL KO NA TOH THI KHWAISH
NA HI KISI KI KHOJ
NAZREIN MILI AUR LAFZON KA BHI LEN DEN HUA
MULAKAT KHATAM HUYI PAR NAA JAANE KYU
UNKI YAADEIN DIL KO AKELE CHOD NAA PAAYI
HAZARON DAFA KABHI USKI ADAIEN TOH KABHI VO KHUD YAAD AAYI…
HULCHUL TOH HUYI THI DIL MAI…
PAR DOSTI KA PARDA AADE AA GAYA…
PEHEL KON KARE AB ISS KASH-MA-KASH MAI DAAL GAYA…
LADKE KO LAGA KAHI DOSTI NA TUT JAAYE
AUR LADKI SOCHNE LAGI VO SAMNE SE AAYE…
AAKHIR YAHA BHI LADKI NE BAAZI MAAR HI LI…
KAR DIYA IZHAAR…
BINA KOI KHOF KI HOGA INKAAR YA IQKRAAR…
AUR BASS CHAL PADI PYAAR KI YE KASHTI…
SAFAR BASS DO PAL KA THA YA ZINDAGI BHAR KA..
YE NA TOH THA PATA NA HI KOI KHABAR…
PAR FIR BHI USS ANJAANE RAASTE PAR CHAL DIYE
CHALTE CHALTE PATA HI NAI CHALA…
KAB HATH THAM LIYA…
SAMAJ HI NAHI AAYA…
KAB DOSTI AASHIQI MAI BADAL GAYI…
RAHON MAI FOOL BARSAATE
AUR KAATEIN HATATE
PYAAR KA INKE KUCH ALAG THA ANDAAZ
CHOTE BACCHO JAISE JHAGAD NE K INKE ALAG HI H MIJAAJ
EK THA MAA KA LADLA DUJI THI PAPA KI DULARI…
EK KO PIZZA TOH DUSRE KO BHAJI POORI THI PYAARI
EK DUSRE KO GIRAATE BHI YAHI
AUR GIRNE PAR BACHATE BHI YAHI
EK KO MOVIE SCREEN PAR SARSON K KHETON KA I LOVE YOU SIMRAN THA PASAND
TOH DUSRE KO TOD FOD KARNE WALA SINGHAM THA PASAND
PYAAR MAI DOSTI AUR DOSTI MAI PYAAR
INKI KAHANI KA YAHI H SAAR…
MAHINO BEET GAYE
DONO EK DUSRE KO AUR ACCHE SE JAAN GAYE
SIRF ACCHAI NAHI
PAR BOORI AADTEIN BHI DONO KO BHA GAYI
BAAKIYON K JAHA AAJ BREAK UP
AUR KAL KISI AUR SE PATCH UP HOTE RAHE
WAHI YE DONO APNE CHOTE SE GHOSLE K SAPNE SAJATE RAHE
DONO K IRAADEIN BANDAN MAI BANDHANE KI SOCH MAI LAG GAYE…
AASAN TOH NAA SAATH AANA THA…
NAA HI SAATH NIBHANA…
KABHI KHUD KI NOK JHOK
TOH KABHI SAMAJ PARIWAR KI ROK TOK
RUKAWATEIN TOH BAHOT AAYI…
PAR DONO NE BASS THAAN LI…
ZINDAGI EK DUSRE K SAATH SE H BANANI
MOHBBAT MAI MITTE BAHOT H
INHONE SAATH JEENE KI KASMEIN KHAYI…
SHIKAYATEIN SHAYAD AAJ BHI H
AAGE BHI HOGI…
PAR SAATH MAI UNKA HAL BHI INHI K PYAAR MAI H BHAI…
HONSLE TOH BULAND PEHLE BHI THE…
PAR AB BADON K ASHIRWAD SE YE AUR BHI JYADA MAJBOOT H…
SAAT SAALON BAAD
7 FEBRAURY KO KIYA HUA VAADA
AAJ SAAT FERON K SAATH POORA HONE JAA RAHA H
ISSI PYAAR BHARE DIN PAR…
MERA YE CHOTA SA TOUFA KABOOL KARO…
MERE PYAARE BHAIYA BHABHI KO
APNE NAYE SAFAR K LIYE DHER SAARA PYAAR…
BECAUSE SEVEN YEARS IS NOT A SMALL SPAN TO STAND STRONG IN ODDS WHERE THERE IS NO WAY OUT… THERE’S DARKNESS AND STILL YOU STRIVE FOR RAY OF LIGHT PEEPING THROUGH!!!
WISHING YOU ALL HAPPINESS, LOADS OF LOVE AND TONS OF SMILES AND STRENGTHS TO FIGHT BACK EVEN FURTHER…
MORE OFF…. CONGRATS TO MY EVER SMILING, MY BHAI’S WEAKNESS AND HIS STRENGHT, TO THE BUBBLY GIRL WHOSE MY DARLING BHABHI
Few stories just touch your life, few incidences make a home in your heart and never leave that place, a few moments just pass by and we don’t even realize! And the people behind these memories gradually become the MAINS in life – they become the permanent ones!
It was in grade 5 that these three girls met, gelled up and now were inseparable besties! From sharing their tiffin to sharing the first crushes they have even cried nights together on their first heart breaks! Both had a different mindset, a distinctive idea about life and life goals but still neither of the two took smallest decisions without each other! But then this blog happens to just describe one of two darlings – because it is her day today!
Samy, (my future wedding dress designer!!) a girl with a thousand dreams in her eyes, she holds a spark which can illuminate the lives of her loved ones and even burn out the one who thinks ill about her bestie (that’s me!). Our meet was destined at school – Stella Maris High School, where we gelled up as “good friends” with those lunch time talks and assignments. Later, this good friend bond was taken to a next level during the tuition classes. All this happened, when we chose walking with our bicycles then to riding them home so that we could steal some extra time and complete our talks about everything and anything, when we saved our pocket money to treat our choosy tongue with paani-puri, when we went for extra classes so that we could enjoy during the breaks. Life was fun then. It was only about school to home to tuitions to back home again. Never did we thought much about the economic depression of India neither did the ruling parties ever affect us! With farewell in school everyone was lost, people whom we knew for nearly 12 years were now just known strangers. A few stayed back for a year or so and they too were lost – but these girls are still with me. It’s about 18 years and we proudly celebrate every day as a friendship day! It isn’t that we meet up daily or we hangout every weekend. At times it happens that for months we don’t see each other, but the bond remains the same!
Samy, you have really been the best accident of my life! The best “jhagdalu-friend”, the best dumbo, the best melo-drama queen, the typical Punekar-foodie who is ever hungry, the tulsi baug to hong-kong lane wali “i-don’t-bargain” girl, my secret box, my gossip girl whose every call starts – Ae Aishe, tula mahiti ka kay zala, my designer, angry bird and the words might fall short to describe the versatility in this girls behaviour, rather in simple words her mood swings!
Samy, you indeed mean a lot to me (and even Cee). I know tu thoda irritating ahes! But it is okay, we are fine with it! Have a wonderful year ahead darling. Stay blessed and keep smiling because I have enough problems and always new mess to be solved by you!