Experiences

Someone just randomly said – it’s all about going through the phase, it’s all about being through that tunnel, it’s all about feeling that experience!
May be then I was a little naive in my childhood to understand how deep this meant and how it impacts everything around! Many times, we listen to experiences narrated maybe we even visualize the same or see the actual things in videos. But still there is a constant urge to experience it in person.
Have you wondered why so? Because few things are to be felt! Everyone says falling in love is one the most beautiful thing one could ever feel, a father’s hug is safest. mother’s lap is most soothing pillow to fall asleep – but only when we experience it by our own self.
Looking at this other way – many a times people do warn us of not to do few things – but it so happens that we only understand when we ourselves face the consequences. Not that we don’t trust them but that “urge”!!
That urge to know what it feels like, that urge to go through all of it and note it to self, that urge to simply know yourself better while you are going through the process!

Smile and Spread Smiles

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Today is YOURS!

Many a times we spend time thinking of the things that happened either yesterday or may be somewhere in the past. And if not this we find ourselves thinking of what tomorrow, what after 2 years what after 5 years!!

Isn’t it weird that we spend the present thinking about the future or the past and the fact is – out of the both none is in our hands right now! What we have now is the present moment. Like maybe you plan of next 10 years but what if you change your city, you change your profession, what if the situation demands of a change which was not thought in your Plan A, B and C!

Not insisting that don’t plan! No, you should have an estimate, you should have a flowchart in your mind of what next! But don’t spend so much time in planning that you forget to live the present.

The day is yours make fullest of it. You need to know this – the day that you have planned has also planned something for you. You have only one day at a time. And remember no day is just a day – be it a lazy Sunday or be it motivated Monday – every day has 24 hours; every day has opportunities with it. You might get an opportunity tomorrow but the one missed today is missed forever. Be open to all of it. Some might be great some might not be that great.

Remember not every person who slept last night wake up today morning. Which simply means that today if you are able to see the morning sun rays, if you feeling the cool breeze, if you are hearing the birds chirp you also have something yet to be done. And so, you are gifted with a new set of 24 hours!

To complete the incomplete. Today is the first day of rest of your life. Yesterday was done and no matter what you cannot undo things which you did yesterday, Future is yet to come and therefore only what remains in your hand is today!  

Be thankful for every day. Affirm to yourself every time “today is a gift given by God and I will make sure to live it to the best I can”

Smile and Spread smiles!

You against You!

Was just scrolling down through Insta feed and read this line “You against you” – thoughtful at first glance and it really did take me to world of thinking, analysing and understanding.

You write your own story.

Don’t give yourself an opportunity to rationalize with the voice that shouts out to quit. To the dreamers out there, don’t ever let the world’s negativity get into to you. Surround yourself with happy and positive people, nothing can be impossible.

Recalling one incidence that I had heard in one of my school assemblies – a tiny hole in the ship can make it sink. Similarly, when you relate that tiny hole to the unfavourable thoughts in your mind your capacity to grow and think beyond the boundaries starts sinking. Your growth gets stagnant. Explore more with the attitude that Yes! Come what may I will get things through! I will get things done!

Here is one more beautiful illustration that was narrated by our value education teacher when we were in primary school – She asked us to do this experiment at home and write down our observations. Take boiling water in two tins – to one you add an egg and to the other you boil in a potato!

Many students had their observations. But the main learning here was – the external environment for both was same but ultimately one became hard and the other became soft ready to mushed. Not that the one which was hard was better and other was not – both were ready to be served, both were rightly ready in their way. The key observation was the reaction to the outside factors

It is all about the way we react to the environment. Situations might be same for two different people but the reaction to that decides where will you land to. Both might choose a different path and both might be right on their choices. It is all within you that you need for what you want to achieve!

Trust yourself! You can do wonders to yourself. Think rightly and you will be astonished to see the beautiful changes around you.

Smile and Spread Smiles

Enthusiasm Can Do Wonders!

Dad always says this to me – Have the ability to see magic and enjoy in every small thing! He finds thrill and excitement in the most ordinary events and happenings be it as small as watering the plants or cleaning the veranda!

Thinking on this, I came to some beautiful thoughts which I am going to summarize here. In school times, we every one must have a memory of that one teacher who made even the boring subjects pretty interesting, we had a spark even after knowing the fact that particular teacher will be taking up the subject. Have you wondered why? It is simply because of the vibes a particular person creates. The enthusiasm that is radiated makes you be in their presence.

Never let yourself get dull. Let us make a habit to believe that we possess significant reserves of health, energy, endurance, goodness and so much more! Many people are paralyzed, not in their limbs but in their thoughts and for that we need to improvise our thought process. Affirm yourself that today is the day of opportunity.

Successful living may be measured by the extent of your enthusiastic participation in life. If you are mentally not satisfied of what you get never be satisfied regardless of the achievement – give in more, be more excited about new things, put yourself into it more! Satisfy your soul, rest all will be done rightly!

Summing up the summary!!

• Practice calmness
• Do something everyday which makes your soul happy
• Pray everyday
• Flush negativity out of your mind with enthusiasm and optimism
• Take interest in smallest tasks deliberately till it becomes your natural way to live

Purposeful life!

We stay on this earth till we fulfill our purpose, said someone! I didn’t really follow it then but now with time I happened to understand the hidden meaning beyond the few words said at that time!

Few people come and go, few people come and stay forever, few keep coming and going like the seasons – and mark this – if you think thoughtfully – every person stepping or walking away had a reason for doing so!

Some teach you lessons for life time! Some simply come to color your life temporarily! During the journey all we got to take is – learn the good from every person who steps in your life. God sends and removes some people because he has his plans ready for you! Because he knows that few things can not be read and adapted! Few things need to be practically faced and understood

And equally – you too step to people’s life sometimes to better yourself and sometimes to let them get better at their end! The problem in this entire journey arises when we get attached to people who don’t stay back! People whom we hold as forever whereas God actually planned their presence as guest appearances in life! Now it’s us who need to understand that their role in our life was fulfilled and so they had to take an exit! We can not hold back on anyone in overtime! All we can do is appreciate the good things learnt and let go of the attachment!

Detachment is really important with the right person at the right time in order to keep things sorted at both ends! If that same person has yet some unfinished job in your life – he will peep back until then there’s a line drawn! People who are meant to stay back will be there no matter what! They will be there – maybe not in good times but in bad times – they will make their way – if not they – trust the universe it will make a way for the reunion!

Sometimes just trust the time – it will lead you rightly! Just trust the process because at the end before you leave the equation of life will be balanced! Trust your own vibes. Trust the surroundings – if it’s meant to be the universe will help you in it – every bit of dust and every morning sun ray will work for you!!

Smile and spread smiles

Be kind to yourself

When we love someone dearly – in the process of falling in love with someone we forget that we need to love ourselves as well! We get so much into someone that we tend to forget that the other person might leave as well and person who will be there by us left broken and shattered will be our very own self.

I am not at all with the view that don’t fall in love – not at all – fall in love, get bruised, fight, argue love and love again – it is the most wonderful feeling ever one can feel off – but in the journey don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t forget the fact that even if you give in your 100% it isn’t necessary that things work as you dream – there can be number of situations for where you may have to part – be it for your career, be it for your family, be it anything!

But when you get attached to someone more then yourself the harm you cause is you start feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, you start feeling incomplete in your own presence. Understand yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself first.

Because end of all the only person to accompany you in all phases is yourself – carry something good from every phase and respect your own self.

Smile and spread smiles

Dawn of Optimism

The Pandemic has spread its jaws tight in the second wave in India – attacking not only the physical health of the citizens but also affecting the mental fitness. 

Everyone out has lost someone either in the family or locality – which has just aired the fire of negativity. Deep inside all of us are craving for thoughts of affirmations, for positivity, for an ounce of hope towards better tomorrow! I couldn’t be luckier in choosing “Viktor Frankl’s” Man’s search for meaning randomly to get this little bit of “hope”

The author being a Nazi Concentration camp survivor has beautifully explained the psychological state of humans in every phases of life – through the ups and downs. Jotting down a few of them which actually threw light on the optimistic sight in me. (Hope it serves you right)

• One instance which an author recalls in a talk where he was shown the pictures of prisoners laying like the haystacks in a room on their sick days – prisoners suffering from the typhus epidemic wearing old rags as clothes resting their wounds on torn shoes – some bleeding and others searching for piece of bread in their torn pockets – the person showing the pictures to the author tried having pity on the conditions in which they survived on which the author’s reaction was surprising when he said that these were the happiest times as we could rest, we could laze and not go out and work. So you see it is all about the perception – every thing can have two perspectives – you need to find the happier one, the positive one.

• Another instance where he focuses on how the prisoners though in misery still had the humanity to think for the other one in the group.

• Hope – was a huge thing that the prisoners of camp were motivated for survival of every day that passed. The times when they were taken from one camp to another rose their hopes to live a better life with lesser pain. The “hope” that one day they will be free helped them survive through the most brutal tortures. (every camp always had an option for prisoners to suicide by touching the electric wire but they still chose to live each day in dreams of freedom)

• This is an extract from the book “I would like to mention a few similar surprises on how much we could endure: we were unable to clean our teeth, and yet, in spite of that and a severe vitamin deficiency, we had healthier gums than ever before. We had to wear the same shirts for half a year, until they had lost all appearance of being shirts. For days we were unable to wash, even partially, because of frozen water-pipes, and yet the sores and abrasions on hands which were dirty from work in the soil did not suppurate (that is, unless there was frostbite). Or for instance, a light sleeper, who used to be disturbed by the slightest noise in the next room, now found himself lying pressed against a comrade who snored loudly a few inches from his ear and yet slept quite soundly through the noise”

All I wanna point out through this blog is – The pandemic has 100s of negative effects but then it is we who are gonna pull ourselves out from this negativity. We can and have to stand up for our families, our friends, our colleagues!! It is gonna be tough each day to stand the scenes of people struggling for oxygen, relatives queing up to bury their near ones but then let us stand tougher against all this. Material help is provided to the country from every corner of the globe, but mental support has to be given by us – you need not have huge bank balance, all you need is a positive mind. If you only can pull your close circle from sinking into dark thoughts – you have done your part of the job! In no time the chain of smiles and hopes for healthier tomorrow will spread. 

We are comparatively in a better situation then the people who have survived the world wars, the concentration camps, the Vietnam War and our very own Indian freedom struggle. Back then it was physical torture which is beyond our imagination. Today all we have to do is simple things – wear a mask, avoid gatherings, stay home. We have Netflix, we have thousands of books online which are unread, we have our families with us unlike the wars where families were parted and all what people had was closed gas chambers to threaten them with their death.

Spread the word – stay home, stay safe and stay positive! Very soon there will be a new dawn of health and happiness!

Failures – Part and Parcel of life

You will fail, you will fall

But never forget to rise over this all

You will stumble, you will feel lost

But remaining there will have a huge cost

You can pull yourself from dust to stars

You are the one who can flaunt your scars

Everyone fails – some openly and some in secret

All you need to remind is – make yourself sweat

Sweat a little more in your dream’s desire

Burn yourself a little more in that burning fire

You will be through all of it!

Success isn’t just about achieving things rightly – but it is also about the journey you went through! You will always cherish those achievements which were more of a challenge rather than the ones which came placed in your plate! To the ones with huge dreams – hard work isn’t an issue – but sometimes all you need is a little push to grow better, to think healthy and to get up and press the restart button!

Rat Race

Man eats Man! Does he? Maybe YES! The way the markets compete so competitively it does. You don’t do a task up to the mark and gone, you are no more in the good books of your company. Your promotion sometimes gets a pause due to your own deficiency and at times due to fault in our stars (Just meant you’re not so good luck). Let’s just jot down what are the reasons to stress at your workplace:

1. Different views on the same issue: Might so happen that in a team there are varied solutions on the same issue and your view is that your proposal is the best and there arises conflicts! Can we deal with it in a decent manner – Of course Yes. Let it be mutual decision, let it include the best points of all the ideas so that everyone is included

2. No credits given – Often it happens, that the project you worked on, the success you burnt the midnight oil for is all gone to someone else. And this is an obvious reason to feel lost because it so happens that when you work your heart out for some project you get attached to it, it is like your own baby which you started from the scratch and taken to heights. Though the solutions to this are better while reading but implementation happens to be difficult, we can try resolving things always – you can sit and explain things to your seniors

3. Early promotions of juniors – Okay, this is more of a human behaviour that you naturally have a feeling of superiority when you have been engaged for a longer time with an institute. Just sit back and think calmly – were you really up to the mark, I would like to highlight and say compare your productivity with what you feel you can do and not with someone else. Maybe you were expected to give better results because you had the potential.

Well, you know the problems are just never ending, it is like the more I jot down the more the list increases. You know your own problems much better than anyone else sitting back and just doing the guess work for you. All I wanna just suggest is – you can try this method of resolving your issues – take a place in the corner of your room, or just sit back on the terrace with a pen and blank paper. Divide the paper in 2 halves roughly and write down what you can do and mark yourself out of 10. Like just a self-evaluation of whether you really are giving your 100%

Try this one and I am sure you will have a better picture of what you can do and where you are lagging! You can use that pen-paper technique in many things – just change your headings and use it!!

Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or ping me or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Explore Life – don’t have stereotypes

Before reading this one – I just want all of you to close your eyes and just imagine what is your definition of having a perfect life! Ah! I really want you to do that (in fact if you could spare a little extra time just get a pen and paper and roughly jot down what are your few to ideas of your kind off perfect life, a perfect day etc)

How many of you thought of it like – a lavish house, a car, good job and stuff like so. If you must have done this – Congrats! You are very much normal – because that’s the way we have brought up our mind to think! But then this is routine right!? Can we think apart from this – let us try!

Can the definition of PERFECT – not be the labels from the past and be something new and original! Something like – Happy you, sitting back in your garden, enjoying the morning sunlight and treating your eyes with the glimpses of butterflies playing with brightly coloured flowers! Or something like this – which is more soothing to your heart and not only to your pockets. I know many of you must be like – this just sounds good in books but real life needs materialistic things, and I totally agree as well! But all I wanna say is – can those worldly desires be side lined and the other goals which don’t sound to be that conventional be mainstream!

Like why have we just accepted the western culture in terms of their dressings and parties! Why not the other things – Here we have defined age for everything education till 22-24, then marry by 25, then kids before 30s (or else there are unimaginable questions raised) and house, then educate kids(till that time we are already reaching heights of exertion – mentally and physically), then their life is our life (daadi-dada and Naani Nana)! Western Countries do not have a defined age for education – they have enrolments in universities even in their 30s and 40s. They start new ventures even in their late 40s.

Can we just explore our limits of what we can do and all our capabilities! Try it out – take up a weekly challenge that you think of something new every week – the same old thing which you did in a specific manner from years – try doing it differently. You will be happy of creating new things – be it as small as just arranging your study table or normally you cut vegetables long now dice it in small cubes – do things differently. (even psychology, says that this keeps your brain active)

Try out new things and do write back about it in the comments section!

Smile and spread smiles