Dawn of Optimism

The Pandemic has spread its jaws tight in the second wave in India – attacking not only the physical health of the citizens but also affecting the mental fitness. 

Everyone out has lost someone either in the family or locality – which has just aired the fire of negativity. Deep inside all of us are craving for thoughts of affirmations, for positivity, for an ounce of hope towards better tomorrow! I couldn’t be luckier in choosing “Viktor Frankl’s” Man’s search for meaning randomly to get this little bit of “hope”

The author being a Nazi Concentration camp survivor has beautifully explained the psychological state of humans in every phases of life – through the ups and downs. Jotting down a few of them which actually threw light on the optimistic sight in me. (Hope it serves you right)

  • One instance which an author recalls in a talk where he was shown the pictures of prisoners laying like the haystacks in a room on their sick days – prisoners suffering from the typhus epidemic wearing old rags as clothes resting their wounds on torn shoes – some bleeding and others searching for piece of bread in their torn pockets – the person showing the pictures to the author tried having pity on the conditions in which they survived on which the author’s reaction was surprising when he said that these were the happiest times as we could rest, we could laze and not go out and work. So you see it is all about the perception – every thing can have two perspectives – you need to find the happier one, the positive one.
  • Another instance where he focuses on how the prisoners though in misery still had the humanity to think for the other one in the group.
  • Hope – was a huge thing that the prisoners of camp were motivated for survival of every day that passed. The times when they were taken from one camp to another rose their hopes to live a better life with lesser pain. The “hope” that one day they will be free helped them survive through the most brutal tortures. (every camp always had an option for prisoners to suicide by touching the electric wire but they still chose to live each day in dreams of freedom)
  • This is an extract from the book “I would like to mention a few similar surprises on how much we could endure: we were unable to clean our teeth, and yet, in spite of that and a severe vitamin deficiency, we had healthier gums than ever before. We had to wear the same shirts for half a year, until they had lost all appearance of being shirts. For days we were unable to wash, even partially, because of frozen water-pipes, and yet the sores and abrasions on hands which were dirty from work in the soil did not suppurate (that is, unless there was frostbite). Or for instance, a light sleeper, who used to be disturbed by the slightest noise in the next room, now found himself lying pressed against a comrade who snored loudly a few inches from his ear and yet slept quite soundly through the noise”

All I wanna point out through this blog is – The pandemic has 100s of negative effects but then it is we who are gonna pull ourselves out from this negativity. We can and have to stand up for our families, our friends, our colleagues!! It is gonna be tough each day to stand the scenes of people struggling for oxygen, relatives queing up to bury their near ones but then let us stand tougher against all this. Material help is provided to the country from every corner of the globe, but mental support has to be given by us – you need not have huge bank balance, all you need is a positive mind. If you only can pull your close circle from sinking into dark thoughts – you have done your part of the job! In no time the chain of smiles and hopes for healthier tomorrow will spread. 

We are comparatively in a better situation then the people who have survived the world wars, the concentration camps, the Vietnam War and our very own Indian freedom struggle. Back then it was physical torture which is beyond our imagination. Today all we have to do is simple things – wear a mask, avoid gatherings, stay home. We have Netflix, we have thousands of books online which are unread, we have our families with us unlike the wars where families were parted and all what people had was closed gas chambers to threaten them with their death.

Spread the word – stay home, stay safe and stay positive! Very soon there will be a new dawn of health and happiness!

Failures – Part and Parcel of life

You will fail, you will fall

But never forget to rise over this all

You will stumble, you will feel lost

But remaining there will have a huge cost

You can pull yourself from dust to stars

You are the one who can flaunt your scars

Everyone fails – some openly and some in secret

All you need to remind is – make yourself sweat

Sweat a little more in your dream’s desire

Burn yourself a little more in that burning fire

You will be through all of it!

Success isn’t just about achieving things rightly – but it is also about the journey you went through! You will always cherish those achievements which were more of a challenge rather than the ones which came placed in your plate! To the ones with huge dreams – hard work isn’t an issue – but sometimes all you need is a little push to grow better, to think healthy and to get up and press the restart button!

Rat Race

Man eats Man! Does he? Maybe YES! The way the markets compete so competitively it does. You don’t do a task up to the mark and gone, you are no more in the good books of your company. Your promotion sometimes gets a pause due to your own deficiency and at times due to fault in our stars (Just meant you’re not so good luck). Let’s just jot down what are the reasons to stress at your workplace:

1. Different views on the same issue: Might so happen that in a team there are varied solutions on the same issue and your view is that your proposal is the best and there arises conflicts! Can we deal with it in a decent manner – Of course Yes. Let it be mutual decision, let it include the best points of all the ideas so that everyone is included

2. No credits given – Often it happens, that the project you worked on, the success you burnt the midnight oil for is all gone to someone else. And this is an obvious reason to feel lost because it so happens that when you work your heart out for some project you get attached to it, it is like your own baby which you started from the scratch and taken to heights. Though the solutions to this are better while reading but implementation happens to be difficult, we can try resolving things always – you can sit and explain things to your seniors

3. Early promotions of juniors – Okay, this is more of a human behaviour that you naturally have a feeling of superiority when you have been engaged for a longer time with an institute. Just sit back and think calmly – were you really up to the mark, I would like to highlight and say compare your productivity with what you feel you can do and not with someone else. Maybe you were expected to give better results because you had the potential.

Well, you know the problems are just never ending, it is like the more I jot down the more the list increases. You know your own problems much better than anyone else sitting back and just doing the guess work for you. All I wanna just suggest is – you can try this method of resolving your issues – take a place in the corner of your room, or just sit back on the terrace with a pen and blank paper. Divide the paper in 2 halves roughly and write down what you can do and mark yourself out of 10. Like just a self-evaluation of whether you really are giving your 100%

Try this one and I am sure you will have a better picture of what you can do and where you are lagging! You can use that pen-paper technique in many things – just change your headings and use it!!

Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or ping me or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Explore Life – don’t have stereotypes

Before reading this one – I just want all of you to close your eyes and just imagine what is your definition of having a perfect life! Ah! I really want you to do that (in fact if you could spare a little extra time just get a pen and paper and roughly jot down what are your few to ideas of your kind off perfect life, a perfect day etc)

How many of you thought of it like – a lavish house, a car, good job and stuff like so. If you must have done this – Congrats! You are very much normal – because that’s the way we have brought up our mind to think! But then this is routine right!? Can we think apart from this – let us try!

Can the definition of PERFECT – not be the labels from the past and be something new and original! Something like – Happy you, sitting back in your garden, enjoying the morning sunlight and treating your eyes with the glimpses of butterflies playing with brightly coloured flowers! Or something like this – which is more soothing to your heart and not only to your pockets. I know many of you must be like – this just sounds good in books but real life needs materialistic things, and I totally agree as well! But all I wanna say is – can those worldly desires be side lined and the other goals which don’t sound to be that conventional be mainstream!

Like why have we just accepted the western culture in terms of their dressings and parties! Why not the other things – Here we have defined age for everything education till 22-24, then marry by 25, then kids before 30s (or else there are unimaginable questions raised) and house, then educate kids(till that time we are already reaching heights of exertion – mentally and physically), then their life is our life (daadi-dada and Naani Nana)! Western Countries do not have a defined age for education – they have enrolments in universities even in their 30s and 40s. They start new ventures even in their late 40s.

Can we just explore our limits of what we can do and all our capabilities! Try it out – take up a weekly challenge that you think of something new every week – the same old thing which you did in a specific manner from years – try doing it differently. You will be happy of creating new things – be it as small as just arranging your study table or normally you cut vegetables long now dice it in small cubes – do things differently. (even psychology, says that this keeps your brain active)

Try out new things and do write back about it in the comments section or just drop mail onletsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Don’t be careful!

Reading the title, you guys must be like – Esha, are you fine! What are you talking about – DON’T BE CAREFUL! I really repeat don’t be too careful, don’t try to be too perfect at every task you take up. Planning every phase is okay but not hard-core plans where even an inch of unexpected blasts and Boom!! You get shattered – like oh god! What next! Let there be some innocence left, let there be surprises which life plans for you! If you are too organized those surprises come more like shocks because that wasn’t that you had planned in black and blue.

Prepare well for every upcoming challenge but it is really fine if situations turn your efforts down, maybe there was something better for you. It’s your life not a coded machine where the sequence can be drafted by you. Let things happen. It will be more magical and life will have spice in it!

Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Self Analysis

I was confused! I was self-analyzing my own steps and thoughts and decisions taken in the past! Was it because of the isolation in lock-down or was is it a result of a deep conversation!? Well the process was memorable to start from the pen and paper jotting down things and thinking over each of the word given as an advice to now where I could find path which can be walked well!

Writing down a few maybe it helps you as well!

  1. Every age has some rights and some obligations! – A deep line which if given a thought can cut your thinking and corresponding actions as sharp as sword the sword. When a student you have the right to ask for academic help but then you also have an obligation to produce results. In childhood if you have a right to be free of tensions and burdens you have an obligation to keep that childishness alive in you! You cannot skip the bar and mix two ages’ rights and obligations – because that’s the time where you create heavy blunders for your own future.

 

  1. Compromise is a compromise till you make it feel the same – If you think on the dilemmas or issues having solutions contradicting your wishes in a way to accept it whole heartedly with a mutual agreement it isn’t a compromise, instead it will be a promise to yourself to stay happy with decisions taken in self-interest!

 

  1. Thinking Substance over form – A language used probably in law has got a lot of relevance in real life as well! One cannot think about every scenario in a bookish manner. Like, if one thing is ideal in a specific way, it need not be the same in every circumstance, because the definition of ideal in every situation varies! Think more in substance then the formats.

 

  1. You cannot stay happy at cost of others cries –Though I always firmly believed in this, but it was highlighted again. Happiness is something that spreads, and how can you smile when the reason behind the smiles is a thousand tears and bad vibes. Rather it must be rule – that one should not build his own life, ruining 10 other people’s smiles. (I guess, Karma works here better)

 

  1. You cannot question your Parents! –The ones who walked with your small steps and held your fingers to make a better life at the cost of every sacrifice that was demanded by time – they cannot be wrong! Under them every problem finds its own solution. Rude at times but they are the only ones who will think for your benefit even if it takes a huge toll on them!

 

Stay Active, Stay Focused!!

I was just lazing on the sofa waiting for mom to get me the evening coffee after cancelling the plan of me making coffee for everyone just because I had to get up and walk all the way through hall and pull things down to make coffee and get it for all. In short, I was lazily just turning myself in every way possible to fit in on the sofa with all soft toys. The steaming hot tea cup finally managed to blow off the chilled attitude of mine and I switched the TV to get some updates on the pandemic. And while random switching I came across this interesting news, rather a short snap story of couple in drought prone region of Maharashtra, this couple who may be stood in their early 40s, managed to dig a well 25 feet deep without any heavy machinery. They started from the day; the Prime Minister announced the nation to be locked down. And within less than a month they dug this well which now not only had enough water for this family but also enough water to feed their cattle and neighbours.

And I just got a “KICK”, like these people whom we so called refer as villagers or the less learned people have utilized their time much more effectively then we as civilized and extra learned people do. I just took a quick look back to what we do here in cities since the lock down was announced! And realized – the students who had their exams find reasons like the atmosphere is too negative and we cant focus on our studies, the newly qualified who are yet to find jobs have seen enough series on Netflix and Amazon, scrolling whatsapp, posting old pics on Instagram with captions like “Life before lockdown” and the way we have wasted our 20-25 days is just pathetic. Listening to the story of this couple I actually got charged like – Bro, if these people can make their way through difficulties we too can. Yes the lock down has affected us mentally but then we can be our own motivators rightly!!

Let us take charge of our own selves! Every effort in right direction is going to be a task towards betterment of the economy which will help our global family to get out of the crisis. Stay home and be creative. Every one surely will have something in addition. Stay focused Stay Home and Stay active.

close up photo of black ceramic mug
Photo by Olenka Sergienko on Pexels.com

Happy New Year 2K20!

 A gift-wrapped box having 12 months… more than 50 weeks and 365 new chances to make better mistakes!!

New year Resolutions! New year Goals! New year – this and new year that!! So many plans on day one and not to anyone’s surprise its hardly 5-6% that stays till the year end! A few might break tomorrow morning – because winter mornings are better in the cozy blanket then the gym!!

What are my new year plans!? Resolutions!? Goals!?

Its as complicated as simplest thing…

But then would love to share the foundation of my plans for myself this here! May be ones without any plans do get one – So 2020 is not only start of new year but also start of new decade!

What I have figured out after being on this planet earth for a more than 2 decades now and seeing the century change from 1900’s to 2000’s!!! (Oh wow! It sounds so matured – which of course is just a fake candid writing – if such term exists for writers!)

Give in your 100% in everything – not only happy things but also things which make you sad! (shocked – but then yeah that’s it!) When you laugh with all your muscles getting stretched and you rolling on the floor why can’t you cry out as loud as you throw out all the discontent!? Why is that only your pillow knows that you cry or the washroom tap hides your weeping sound! Enjoy crying as well! (I know new year – first day – and its so very depressing to speak about the tears stuff! But then come on we can face it right!?) I will be myself this year – I will make myself a better me! I don’t want perfection at first sight but I promise myself to make better mistakes and learn out of it! If I take up a task, I put in the best efforts to complete it in the best possible way I could do that!

 

And the next and last thing thought is – be the hope! Be human!! Feel for people and not for machines! Drop by drop fills a mighty ocean! And so is the race of humanity – let it start from small efforts and make world a better place to be in!

 

Rest – goals for the year are always high – be a better professional, exercise daily! Do this and do that! But then that’s on everyone’s list! This was somethings that I found unique on first page of my diary! Do share if you have something happening like this! You never know who gets inspired by you!!

 

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You are reflection of your surroundings!

You’re just an imitation of what is around you, its just that you don’t imitate one person; you take bits and pieces of hundred people and make yourself

I was small when my mum always had a concern of all the tiny heads which would flock in our house to play, laugh, complete homework and enjoy the best days of life. It wasn’t the mess we created in and around that dreaded her, it was the children coming home, their upbringing and their culture in which they were brought which was her concern! She was very keen on choosing the right people as friends and I always had a grudge as to its okay whosoever they are! I just play with them and will not be influenced with any of their habits! But then entering the house without a brief introduction of my friends was next to impossible!

Now when I started analysing things myself and knowing the psychology behind her worried eyes, I totally agree to her! You are known by the company you keep! Not because it’s a saying! But because your brain constantly snaps images of the attitudes – be it good or bad of all the people you surround with. These small snaps taken slowly and steadily start throwing impression on our personality! And to be checked out in practise – take an example if your boss is in a grumpy mood and you happen to be the target point as soon as you have taken your seat early morning. You are thrashed and abused in hard words in front of a few colleagues, later you take the same grumpy vibes to the cafeteria which is simply carried ahead to your kids waiting back home. So, you see, you gradually become the way you receive vibes! You read a positive quote and you are all filled with motivation. Atleast for the next few days you work with a new energy and focus!

So, it’s simple – I vibe, your vibe… WE VIBE. Be surrounded with positive people, the optimistic ones, those which send you a positive energy! Those who allow you to be a little better than your best version

Journey!

Don’t focus on the destination, enjoy the journey!

Having a conversation with millionaire who was in his early 70s, verbal sketch was something like – a wrinkled face with a sparkle and a glow flowing out, attire he worn was perfect for a business class meeting (though he was retired man), head covered with dove white silky hair (as if one could play the find-black-hair challenge), hands shivering but still the handshake was firm enough to understand the throw in his personality, he stood all straight without a stick, very meticulously he had a choice about everything – be it what he wore, what he read, what he ate and so on and so forth! Impressed by the way he presented himself to me! I actually looked upon this young-old man to throw light on topics like life, career, future, goals and stuff and initiated the conversation.

And there this man had a crisp to explain me these things – which normally sound as rocket science for teens and a big fat topic for parents to such teens! He just had summarized in words which meant that love what you do! Without the fear of what will be the result. The more you get result oriented, the more mechanical you are. The more you tend to fit yourself in a strict format, the more you happen to be machine. The more you get into stuff of pulling eggs in one basket, higher are the chances to topple and break a few.

He had his view explained right with an array of examples – he asked me to climb the morning in wee morning hours and then notice the way the sky changes it colours from dark night black to beautiful golden orange. The cold breeze that kisses you all the while you push yourself to the top. The silent darkness turning to the chirpy morning. Once you reach the highest point, the journey is over and you arrive to your destination, the view from the top is treat to your eyes because you have seen the canvas of sky with the most beautiful shades, you had felt the chilled morning travel its way through to the first ray of morning. The destination seems better and journey wont tire you even through its longest route if you simply learn to live the process and not the results.

And wow! How impressed I was to acknowledge this thought while recollecting the biggest of my achievements! You too can take it as an assignment! May be while cooking or while on your way back home or while on a walk, think of your biggest heights you reached and you will realize the result gives you satisfaction and sense of completeness but the minute you find yourself smiling acknowledge the memory you just recalled which was a part of the journey you travelled!