Readers Attention

They say a reader can live thousand lives before he dies! They reading gives you unending happiness! People say what exercise is to body – reading is to mind! And the never ending list of why and how reading helps one to just be better version of self!

So here we are starting this drive to read and read and read!

It is like we challenge ourselves to read 2 books a month. You can do it silently and take a note of your own reading or you can use social media to inspire people around to read by telling about the good books you have read.

Tag your friends or join the whatsapp group made where readers across the city, state, country and may be even globe share the experiences they had while reading the books they have picked.

Feel free to mail for further details on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com

Rat Race

Man eats Man! Does he? Maybe YES! The way the markets compete so competitively it does. You don’t do a task up to the mark and gone, you are no more in the good books of your company. Your promotion sometimes gets a pause due to your own deficiency and at times due to fault in our stars (Just meant you’re not so good luck). Let’s just jot down what are the reasons to stress at your workplace:

1. Different views on the same issue: Might so happen that in a team there are varied solutions on the same issue and your view is that your proposal is the best and there arises conflicts! Can we deal with it in a decent manner – Of course Yes. Let it be mutual decision, let it include the best points of all the ideas so that everyone is included

2. No credits given – Often it happens, that the project you worked on, the success you burnt the midnight oil for is all gone to someone else. And this is an obvious reason to feel lost because it so happens that when you work your heart out for some project you get attached to it, it is like your own baby which you started from the scratch and taken to heights. Though the solutions to this are better while reading but implementation happens to be difficult, we can try resolving things always – you can sit and explain things to your seniors

3. Early promotions of juniors – Okay, this is more of a human behaviour that you naturally have a feeling of superiority when you have been engaged for a longer time with an institute. Just sit back and think calmly – were you really up to the mark, I would like to highlight and say compare your productivity with what you feel you can do and not with someone else. Maybe you were expected to give better results because you had the potential.

Well, you know the problems are just never ending, it is like the more I jot down the more the list increases. You know your own problems much better than anyone else sitting back and just doing the guess work for you. All I wanna just suggest is – you can try this method of resolving your issues – take a place in the corner of your room, or just sit back on the terrace with a pen and blank paper. Divide the paper in 2 halves roughly and write down what you can do and mark yourself out of 10. Like just a self-evaluation of whether you really are giving your 100%

Try this one and I am sure you will have a better picture of what you can do and where you are lagging! You can use that pen-paper technique in many things – just change your headings and use it!!

Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or ping me or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Explore Life – don’t have stereotypes

Before reading this one – I just want all of you to close your eyes and just imagine what is your definition of having a perfect life! Ah! I really want you to do that (in fact if you could spare a little extra time just get a pen and paper and roughly jot down what are your few to ideas of your kind off perfect life, a perfect day etc)

How many of you thought of it like – a lavish house, a car, good job and stuff like so. If you must have done this – Congrats! You are very much normal – because that’s the way we have brought up our mind to think! But then this is routine right!? Can we think apart from this – let us try!

Can the definition of PERFECT – not be the labels from the past and be something new and original! Something like – Happy you, sitting back in your garden, enjoying the morning sunlight and treating your eyes with the glimpses of butterflies playing with brightly coloured flowers! Or something like this – which is more soothing to your heart and not only to your pockets. I know many of you must be like – this just sounds good in books but real life needs materialistic things, and I totally agree as well! But all I wanna say is – can those worldly desires be side lined and the other goals which don’t sound to be that conventional be mainstream!

Like why have we just accepted the western culture in terms of their dressings and parties! Why not the other things – Here we have defined age for everything education till 22-24, then marry by 25, then kids before 30s (or else there are unimaginable questions raised) and house, then educate kids(till that time we are already reaching heights of exertion – mentally and physically), then their life is our life (daadi-dada and Naani Nana)! Western Countries do not have a defined age for education – they have enrolments in universities even in their 30s and 40s. They start new ventures even in their late 40s.

Can we just explore our limits of what we can do and all our capabilities! Try it out – take up a weekly challenge that you think of something new every week – the same old thing which you did in a specific manner from years – try doing it differently. You will be happy of creating new things – be it as small as just arranging your study table or normally you cut vegetables long now dice it in small cubes – do things differently. (even psychology, says that this keeps your brain active)

Try out new things and do write back about it in the comments section or just drop mail onletsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Don’t be careful!

Reading the title, you guys must be like – Esha, are you fine! What are you talking about – DON’T BE CAREFUL! I really repeat don’t be too careful, don’t try to be too perfect at every task you take up. Planning every phase is okay but not hard-core plans where even an inch of unexpected blasts and Boom!! You get shattered – like oh god! What next! Let there be some innocence left, let there be surprises which life plans for you! If you are too organized those surprises come more like shocks because that wasn’t that you had planned in black and blue.

Prepare well for every upcoming challenge but it is really fine if situations turn your efforts down, maybe there was something better for you. It’s your life not a coded machine where the sequence can be drafted by you. Let things happen. It will be more magical and life will have spice in it!

Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

Relationships!!

Relationships! Can be friendships, love affairs or just any sort of emotional attachment which once seemed the most prefect thing for you and is now not! And you feel like a failure, it feels like we just wasted our time, energy, resources behind something which never meant to be forever and that creates issues where we find ourselves under sort of liability like “Oh my God, what has happened to my life”

Why do we have these failures – on deep thought it is because we have made our relationships too easy to go and fragile, we have started finding options much easily than before. We aren’t strong enough to work on our own flaws and prefer walking out of situations which genuinely need time and efforts to be sorted when things get cringey. Just received a message “Hey Esha, I don’t want to continue with my girl anymore because I doubt, she doesn’t have the same spark for me!…….” Brother, come on, how can you just walk out over a doubt. Have a decency to talk and sort then to just keep running off the situations. If you keep a habit to talk over your problems, you will for sure realize that half of the issues are created by our own assumptions and misunderstandings.

Going to the other extremes – When you both have decided to end a relationship, many a times it so happens that while taking the decision both are just so very particular and sound sorted like “It is fine, things did not work and so we have parted off our ways” I wonder what happens the minute you see your best friend or someone close to you, people start back bitching about the same person who was once their sunshine according to the Instagram captions! Don’t you think that when you talk ill about someone you develop negativity in you, you look more towards the darker side than the brighter side. No one has special relationships without being felt special, may be things haven’t been the same as you thought, so it is just okay to walk apart. Every person walking in your life teaches you something good which moulds you to better human than before, you can be thankful to that and go ahead. And yet another point I would like to highlight – As a third person as well – never comment on anyone’s personal life, have your opinions but don’t try brainwashing someone else to prove that what you feel is right.

Guys it is really okay to leave a bond how so ever long but don’t forget the maturity, don’t forget that though things are not fine now, there was a time when you were your best together – you laughed, you hanged out, you rejoiced your success, you cried your failures together. Just because now you can not work it out doesn’t mean all of it was fake. Be sensitive to your own emotions that you shared your best times with the opposite person somewhere in the past!

Down the line, it will be awkward when you see the person happy and you are not – Accept it that you are taking time to come out and the other one has pulled oneself out taking efforts on his own self. Just because he is happy doesn’t mean he cheated. In fact, take it as an inspiration that if he can, even you can come out – I highlight – I said inspiration and not revenge – He is fine I can also show I am fine and go out to parties even when you yourself deep down know that you aren’t what you are showing. Let there really be no show off – No yaar, not at least to your own self. When you stand across the mirror you must feel your smile is real and not the fake one!

Guys, you need not google out – how to come over a relationship failure. It is all within – you yourself know what works best for you, you know how you have got to train your brain to think rightly in your favor for your betterment. It is really fine to take time to heal but not okay to sit at one place doing nothing for yourself and expecting some one else comes for your rescue. Be your own pathfinder!

Do write back about is this helping you in comments section or ping me or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.

boy and girl sitting on bench toy
Photo by JN Channel on Pexels.com

 

Why Stress!?

Back Again here! Did the ones who read the previous blog thought over the topic – “Why do we stress up?” When I started writing I thought let it be the random thoughts of my brain, but as I started writing it happened to be a blend of some studied facts of psychology and self-thinking.

We stress up when the world of our illusions do not match the reality. So, is dreaming wrong? No, it isn’t, but yes dreaming of unrealistic goals is wrong. Second reason why stress hovers us so easily is – we prefer keeping those things private which should actually be spoken off and show off those things which basically should be private! We prefer speaking on the unnecessary huge expense done on weekend parties and the overpriced outfit you bought to just flaunt off in one party! (if I have to say it in Hindi – it would be something like – Bhai – tera dress, teri party, duniya ko dikhakar kya milega!) But we feel reluctant, we feel embarrassed to tell someone that “I had a sleepless night or something like, yes this is taking a toll on your peace”. Okay, again here – share your success stories, motivate others to do better don’t show off just to make someone be jealous of you or make the other feel inferior (atleast not intentionally)

Other reasons and much common – all googled ones rather – Relationship failure (one of the biggest cause for huge mental stress at all levels of age), Professional competition and hand in hand steps in the financial crunches and related issues (mostly seen in working age groups and even a little in teens), Social acceptance or social standing(very common in age group of 13-24), Others happen to be like – Loss of near ones, comparisons in peers, Peer pressure, Over thinking and over analysing things and situations etc.

Each of the topic will be dealt in details in upcoming blogs with simple solutions to all problems out of which most of them are our own creations!

So what will you do today – may be while you are just sitting in the evening with you cup of tea – try talking to your family, if alone try talking to yourself do you undergo any of the above things which makes you feel uncomfortable or makes you feel that you cannot work with full potential and something is disturbing you back of the mind. Write about it or speak about it to your closed ones (and if no one hears you – use the social platforms – but express yourself. You can reply back here in the comments or simply mail on – letsendthestigma1@gmail.com)

We will be dealing with “Biggest stress factor tomorrow – RELATIONSHIP FAILURE”. Hope that this is making a difference to you – even a single person feels motivated to share his story reading this, it would be biggest change I could create on my end!

Let’s make life better – Share it to all those whom you love dearly!

Be the light!

This is a series on “Protecting Mental Health” and every day you will have your dose of motivation to understand yourself and the people around you better.

Focus of today’s write up is “let us be there”

Every incidence has got a lesson and we need to learn from it! YES! We need to understand the reasons and remedies to it! Let us not be there for everyone – We have got specialized people for that, right? We have counsellors, we have psychologists, we have therapists its like we do have professionals to handle when things are beyond control.

What we can do is – let us just be there for people whom we cross our paths to. I am not asking you to be there at the cost of your own peace! Naa, not at all, but atleast we can make sure that our actions don’t hurt anyone. Our words don’t rip someone’s heart. It might happen that we aren’t in confirmation with the person sitting across the table, it might so happen that even after taking same efforts someone else has taken up a bigger promotion, it might happen that things just go upside down – but that gives us no right to start abusing or criticizing the other person. It was his share of success; it was his luck. It is okay to grow slow but it is not okay to grow at the cost of someone else’s unrest. You do not justify yourself when you sleep peacefully when someone else is facing inconvenience just because of you.

It is like the chain – you think for others, you be there for others and someone else returns it back to you! Life will get much simpler this way. We are all one community – we are all tied in knots of humanity. Let us be humans’ friends! Let us be there for every one and do our small bit to help the world be a better place to live in!

Tomorrow we will be learning as to “Why do we stress up?”

(You can always ping me on my Instagram (Aishwarya Jaju) to suggest topics or even reply back here in the comments or simply mail on – letsendthestigma1@gmail.com ! And if you find reading this helped you do share it!!)

End the Stigma

Sushant Singh Rajput!! A name in the industry which had no GODFATHER! He made his own place and he made his own name! It was something like HE CAME, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED (OUR HEARTS)!!

And then out of nowhere, a Sunday afternoon comes up a pop up! Sushant Singh Rajput hangs himself at his Bandra residence! He had money – so there were no financial crunches which means money was not an issue, he had fame – that too wasn’t the concern, people loved him – that too didn’t bother! What mattered was – in spite of all of the riches he was unfit – NOT PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY! A topic much ignored and overrated to be fools thing to talk over this! How many of you face stress and are ashamed to accept that yes you need help! Come on Yaar!! We are humans not machines!

The difference in us and robots is just that we can feel things! Can we be a little sensitive when we open our mouth to criticise others and can we be a little open to accept that yes!! We do face mental stress!! And it is OKAY to say that you can not take it anymore! That doesn’t make you a weak or coward human! Accepting your flaws is the art to live happy – let’s do that!!

Here is an open help to all of you there who are struggling to speak to someone! You won’t be judged because there will be no direct communication! You won’t be criticised because here you will be talking to just a better version of yourself! You can feel free to simply drop your problems and issues on this Mail ID – letsendthestigma1@gmail.com!  

We will be speaking over this in the upcoming few blogs! Stay connected and share your problems!

Its better to talk to some one and solve each other’s problems rather than simple crying on funeral and wishing that you could be a help! ACT WISELY! ACT NOW!

Communication

This question peeped through my mind all the while throughout the day as I was sitting on the first bench of my Orientation Programme before starting my articleship days “As to why this 35 hours are a necessity when all you do here is just speak, chatter all round and nothing else?”

The question hovered me even on the last day and I wondered when will it be answered. And yes! It was answered rightly on the very first day of my articleship (where I was interviewed before, which as well included communication skills – because the interviewers didn’t scrutinize my results deeply, all they were interested is the way I present myself). It was my first day of articleship where I was accompanied by my senior and colleagues, and I was handed over a file to compare the TDS as per books, TDS certificates along with form 26AS. I was blank because all this was read in books but I never knew how to download 26AS, neither was I thorough with the accounting software. I kept staring at the files for a while with an awkward look till my senior came and with the bossy voice instructed me – “If you aren’t aware of things, ask for help and start working immediately!!” And then, I understood why was OP conducted, those 35 hours did work miracles and I could get through things.

Basically, not only on the office desk but at every platform communication plays crucial role. Giving you an example how effective communication helps you to make the listeners visualize better and in turn it makes the process of understanding the facts better. Let us just compare – and ask yourself which sounds better and conveys better.
1st way – I started my morning with coffee
2nd way – I opened the chilly winter morning by treating myself with a steaming hot aromatic coffee.

I am sure the second way makes you feel the situation right. Same happens in our teams while working, if we can convey the ideas well, we can convince well and gradually that affects our career growth. There are many ways through which we can be effective communicators like effective listening, reading of facts and having knowledgeable content to share in the right manner with the RIGHT TONE (very important when you are in a verbal conversation)
Simple way to start can be add minute details to your observation and these will be automatically added to your words.

Speak sensible and Spread your ideas.

Self Analysis

I was confused! I was self-analyzing my own steps and thoughts and decisions taken in the past! Was it because of the isolation in lock-down or was is it a result of a deep conversation!? Well the process was memorable to start from the pen and paper jotting down things and thinking over each of the word given as an advice to now where I could find path which can be walked well!

Writing down a few maybe it helps you as well!

  1. Every age has some rights and some obligations! – A deep line which if given a thought can cut your thinking and corresponding actions as sharp as sword the sword. When a student you have the right to ask for academic help but then you also have an obligation to produce results. In childhood if you have a right to be free of tensions and burdens you have an obligation to keep that childishness alive in you! You cannot skip the bar and mix two ages’ rights and obligations – because that’s the time where you create heavy blunders for your own future.

 

  1. Compromise is a compromise till you make it feel the same – If you think on the dilemmas or issues having solutions contradicting your wishes in a way to accept it whole heartedly with a mutual agreement it isn’t a compromise, instead it will be a promise to yourself to stay happy with decisions taken in self-interest!

 

  1. Thinking Substance over form – A language used probably in law has got a lot of relevance in real life as well! One cannot think about every scenario in a bookish manner. Like, if one thing is ideal in a specific way, it need not be the same in every circumstance, because the definition of ideal in every situation varies! Think more in substance then the formats.

 

  1. You cannot stay happy at cost of others cries –Though I always firmly believed in this, but it was highlighted again. Happiness is something that spreads, and how can you smile when the reason behind the smiles is a thousand tears and bad vibes. Rather it must be rule – that one should not build his own life, ruining 10 other people’s smiles. (I guess, Karma works here better)

 

  1. You cannot question your Parents! –The ones who walked with your small steps and held your fingers to make a better life at the cost of every sacrifice that was demanded by time – they cannot be wrong! Under them every problem finds its own solution. Rude at times but they are the only ones who will think for your benefit even if it takes a huge toll on them!