Can you UN-LOVE someone!? (Part 1)

It was a chilly winter midnight, where the only warmth around me was my childhood friend – Ananya- the non-stop chitter chatter. It was the fourth mug of coffee throwing up steams and refreshing the room with the aroma of coffee beans which acted more like a catalyst to our brains and helped us walk down the memory lane where we revisited our kindergarten small shoes and hanky pinned uniform to the high pony and short skirts in high school. The first ever class we bunked and did nothing other than smelling the camphor balls in the washroom, the first ever stage play where my chatter queen was just an idol! The first dance where we wanted to apply all the shades of eye colors, make our cheeks as red as that of a clown and flaunt off as if we were the only girls on planet Earth! We grew and so did our talk progress – till a point of time our cheeks only had a smile, a feeling of how beautiful school was and how amazing the teachers were then.

One more mug of coffee was down and we realized that the smiles made our cheeks pain, sitting on the kitchen top with all albums from school to college to graduation to post graduation and finally being placed the clock stroke 4:00 am and we still had to revisit the most of abnormal days of life! And suddenly Ananya had her fingers stop on a picture, she gazed at it and even the hot coffee mug that touched her baby soft skin could not get her out of the land that the picture took her to.

She just looked at me, her beautiful eyes expressed the emotions the picture took her through, the tears elegantly clinged her eyes as if a pearl was placed. The tear didn’t flow off and she simply uttered a question – Aisha, can we un-love someone? Can we unwind life? Can a series of good memories be simply deleted forever and ever? And she stopped, she didn’t have a single emotion on her face! The entire chirpy night was now taken to a silent closed room where even slightest breeze touching the window panes felt like a mini disaster, I could feel the coffee cold which was as if adding to the sad atmosphere. She looked at me with all questions as if they were screened in her eyes. I just quickly cleared of the other pictures to make a place to sit by her, held her baby soft pink which froze like ice, still clueless of what was I gonna explain her by getting into this philosophical pose. I just looked into her eyes and as if there was someone speaking from me – I shot a big lecture as if I was working on a research paper on the topic!

And Aisha had so much to explain about all this!!! Which will be seen in Part II very soon!!!!

Love and Spread Love!!

boy and girl sitting on bench toy
Un-LOVING is not an easy task but can be a step towards better self!!

You are reflection of your surroundings!

You’re just an imitation of what is around you, its just that you don’t imitate one person; you take bits and pieces of hundred people and make yourself

I was small when my mum always had a concern of all the tiny heads which would flock in our house to play, laugh, complete homework and enjoy the best days of life. It wasn’t the mess we created in and around that dreaded her, it was the children coming home, their upbringing and their culture in which they were brought which was her concern! She was very keen on choosing the right people as friends and I always had a grudge as to its okay whosoever they are! I just play with them and will not be influenced with any of their habits! But then entering the house without a brief introduction of my friends was next to impossible!

Now when I started analysing things myself and knowing the psychology behind her worried eyes, I totally agree to her! You are known by the company you keep! Not because it’s a saying! But because your brain constantly snaps images of the attitudes – be it good or bad of all the people you surround with. These small snaps taken slowly and steadily start throwing impression on our personality! And to be checked out in practise – take an example if your boss is in a grumpy mood and you happen to be the target point as soon as you have taken your seat early morning. You are thrashed and abused in hard words in front of a few colleagues, later you take the same grumpy vibes to the cafeteria which is simply carried ahead to your kids waiting back home. So, you see, you gradually become the way you receive vibes! You read a positive quote and you are all filled with motivation. Atleast for the next few days you work with a new energy and focus!

So, it’s simple – I vibe, your vibe… WE VIBE. Be surrounded with positive people, the optimistic ones, those which send you a positive energy! Those who allow you to be a little better than your best version

Journey!

Don’t focus on the destination, enjoy the journey!

Having a conversation with millionaire who was in his early 70s, verbal sketch was something like – a wrinkled face with a sparkle and a glow flowing out, attire he worn was perfect for a business class meeting (though he was retired man), head covered with dove white silky hair (as if one could play the find-black-hair challenge), hands shivering but still the handshake was firm enough to understand the throw in his personality, he stood all straight without a stick, very meticulously he had a choice about everything – be it what he wore, what he read, what he ate and so on and so forth! Impressed by the way he presented himself to me! I actually looked upon this young-old man to throw light on topics like life, career, future, goals and stuff and initiated the conversation.

And there this man had a crisp to explain me these things – which normally sound as rocket science for teens and a big fat topic for parents to such teens! He just had summarized in words which meant that love what you do! Without the fear of what will be the result. The more you get result oriented, the more mechanical you are. The more you tend to fit yourself in a strict format, the more you happen to be machine. The more you get into stuff of pulling eggs in one basket, higher are the chances to topple and break a few.

He had his view explained right with an array of examples – he asked me to climb the morning in wee morning hours and then notice the way the sky changes it colours from dark night black to beautiful golden orange. The cold breeze that kisses you all the while you push yourself to the top. The silent darkness turning to the chirpy morning. Once you reach the highest point, the journey is over and you arrive to your destination, the view from the top is treat to your eyes because you have seen the canvas of sky with the most beautiful shades, you had felt the chilled morning travel its way through to the first ray of morning. The destination seems better and journey wont tire you even through its longest route if you simply learn to live the process and not the results.

And wow! How impressed I was to acknowledge this thought while recollecting the biggest of my achievements! You too can take it as an assignment! May be while cooking or while on your way back home or while on a walk, think of your biggest heights you reached and you will realize the result gives you satisfaction and sense of completeness but the minute you find yourself smiling acknowledge the memory you just recalled which was a part of the journey you travelled!

Commitment!

Incredible things happen when you commit

Commitment – a high voltage word! Your partner asks you a commitment in your relationship, you boss asks you the same for your job, you team asks for it on the field and so on and on.

But have you wondered what of you fall short in what you actually commit – you lose… you simply lose your respect, your value your position; but then is it easy to commit!? No, not all rather! Had it been easy to commit why would the repercussions be so hard.

When you say you commit a thing – you mean that you are ready to devote your entire energy on that stuff! You mean that you will stand up 101st time even if you fall a hundred times! So, there falls your answer – Why incredible things happen when you commit yourself to it! It happens because you dedicate the best phase of you to the task not just to complete it, but to complete it in a way which shocks your own self. You commit when you desire to watch things beyond perfection.

Dad and daughters (1)

This is may be a voice of every small girl to her dad (Indian middle-class family who has his job from morning 8 to say something 6 in the evening)
Papa, today I had a holiday and was waiting for this day from past one week, so that I could tell you my school stories, so that I could make your hair like Justin Bieber, so that I could tie two ponies and put my favourite nail colour on your nails!! I was planning about the day with you so that I could create some memories in my childhood.
Baba, you know I do miss you a lot, When I get up you are already on your way to office, running with your tiffin and you just come back after reaching the door to kiss me a good day to school. Starting the day with your beautiful smile I get ready for my school, dreaming of a day that one day atleast your office goes on strike so that you could leave me to school, so that we could have so many talks and I could tell you how bitterly I miss your hugs and how badly I need you! Back then, when you come home, I am at my dance classes and by the time I come home you are either hooked in to some important presentation for the next day or planning about the monthly budget or may be simply chalking out the expenses of house!! Without disturbing you I just observe you or probably sometimes come and help you with my so called extra fast mathematics additions which you give me so that I don’t start with my chatter box 😉😉!!
The time being so bad it just flies off when you are at home!!
So today, I have decided that the day is ours! I will tell you all the fairy tales I watch on Disney, today I will teach you how to write and how to draw, you know I even learnt to paint a little, Papa, we will also go shopping , I wanna get a new pair of socks for you because yesterday I did notice you hiding your leg behind the chair because of the torn patch on the socks! I wanna show you all the stars I got for neat writing, I wanna spend a morning with you watching the sun touch the sky, I wanna walk a mile with you and see the sun setting, I wanna show you the moon plays hide and seek with me through my bedroom window!
Papa, I was really happy today, because I had a holiday and was gonna spend the entire day at home till the time your phone rang and you had an emergency meeting scheduled in an hour!
I was upset! I was about to cry and the minute you said I have promised the day with my princess, let the meeting be postponed I just ran and hugged you! I had my world with me! I had the most amazing memory of my childhood crafted today!!

(To all the dearest fathers!!! Spend more and more time with your daughters, because tomorrow when you might have time your daughter might have been wedded off!! And you spend hours with all the childhood photos where you were missing due to some important meeting, a business tour or some other upcoming project!!)

Luckiest daughters ever!!!! Papa love you alot

Stalkers

Stalkers! Yeah a breed of evil which by mistake were placed as humans! The simple reason being that I am being so hard in words is that these ****** dont even realize that they just spoil a person’s life! Had it been that you got guts, come in front, stand face to face and talk why play hied and seek and make one feel so uncomfortable! How can you be humans when you can’t even respect someone else’s life! Whatever!

Are you stalked by someone ever?? Where you could actually feel your heart throbbing so hard as if it will jump out of your body breaking through all boundaries or simply legs shivering as if you were on vibrating mode or sweating in the AC room! And in the extremes where you feel like ending yourself was the only option!

Well, than this one is for you! So what will you do in such case, first thing just let people around you know about it, may be your friend, a colleague or whomever you are comfortable with!

Next, be bold enough to approach the authorities. Specially for the girls, feminism is not a synonym to weakness! Get up, speak up, voice your own issues because you cant expect your father/brother/boyfriend/male best friend or husband to be there all the time! Of course they are your strength but be ready to face it alone as well!

Few other things, dont let it bother your peace, because that is what the stalker wants, to scare the shit out of you! So just have your routine, update your friends with your daily schedule! And live the life your way!

Ignore! Learn to ignore what is not in your concern!

And lastly! For the ones who take hard and heavy decisions of quitting their regular lifestyle, keep themselves indoor, stop being social and all that stuff (with extremes as said before) People come and go! You get a life only once! Enjoy that gift thoroughly!!

Friends! Live and let live! Let your presence be reason to smiles and happiness and not tears and pain for others!!!

Smile and spread smiles! Happy Morning!

That old man….

Few morning sunshine have so much in them to teach you, they have so much to display that the teachings are as bright as the sun itself!

Something same happened this morning, with all cleaning stuff at home before Diwali there was lot of things which were old and to be scrapped out! Of course, the two factors – one being Indian and second being a middle-class Marwari family – the scrap was not just waste it was to be sold to the scrap seller and that was my so-called hard-earned money after all the cleaning done! (I hope a few of you can relate to me!)
Dad, has been selling scrap to an old man since last 12-15 years and he too very religiously comes to our place every Diwali in that tone “Sahib, Diwali ki Saaf-Safaai huyi ya naahi abtak? (Sir, is the Diwali cleaning done, so that he could collect the scrap) This time too he came, this old man nearly in his late 70s was so very active to pick up the heavy boxes filled with books which I could not even lift from my room to the outer corridor of my house, he picked all the papers, the cardboards, all the tins, plastic and was ready with the all calculations done. He handed over the money to me and left.

The incidence was done, but that old wrinkled face, tired watery eyes, the chapped lips, the sweaty skin covered with an old patchy shirt (but which was very clean), a little weary chappal which was stitched at the ends was all just haunting me with so much inspiration! Though he wasn’t having a very luxurious life or an AC cabin for his job, he did wear a beautiful smile. He never had an sports class car instead it was just a cart which he had to push the entire day long even when the sun showed its cruelty with those high flames! Nor did he have a branded pair of shoes or something which he could flaunt off!

But then he had something which most of us lack today even in our business class cars, wearing a Rado in one hand and eyes peeping out from corner of a brand-new gold-plated Ray-Ban – he had honesty and satisfaction of what he was doing, he wore a smile and was contended with what he did.

While collecting the scrap he said something very beautiful to me, “Didi, mehnat ka kama ke khaaye bina neend naahi aavat hai, aaj tak kabhi bhi kisi se be-imaani naahi kare hai hum (in that typical accent of his) (Which simply meant, Didi, there is no peace to sleep without working hard and earning money, till date I haven’t ever cheated anyone in my job)
So beautifully he taught me to earn as much as you deserve, as much as your hard work deserves gives you a sense of satisfaction. The morning will inspire me for lifetime to be honest and sincere in whatever one does!! If I am not wrong the teachings of Islam rightly say “Aaram ka paisa haram hai”

So, what I learnt was

  • Be satisfied in whatever you do, life has it own way to surprise you, hard work never goes unpaid!
  • Keep smiling, life observes you every single minute!
  • And lastly, be honest in whatever you do!

Smile and spread smiles. Get inspired and spread the vibes! Happy morning guys!