Someone just randomly said – it’s all about going through the phase, it’s all about being through that tunnel, it’s all about feeling that experience! May be then I was a little naive in my childhood to understand how deep this meant and how it impacts everything around! Many times, we listen to experiences narrated maybe we even visualize the same or see the actual things in videos. But still there is a constant urge to experience it in person. Have you wondered why so? Because few things are to be felt! Everyone says falling in love is one the most beautiful thing one could ever feel, a father’s hug is safest. mother’s lap is most soothing pillow to fall asleep – but only when we experience it by our own self. Looking at this other way – many a times people do warn us of not to do few things – but it so happens that we only understand when we ourselves face the consequences. Not that we don’t trust them but that “urge”!! That urge to know what it feels like, that urge to go through all of it and note it to self, that urge to simply know yourself better while you are going through the process!
When we love someone dearly – in the process of falling in love with someone we forget that we need to love ourselves as well! We get so much into someone that we tend to forget that the other person might leave as well and person who will be there by us left broken and shattered will be our very own self.
I am not at all with the view that don’t fall in love – not at all – fall in love, get bruised, fight, argue love and love again – it is the most wonderful feeling ever one can feel off – but in the journey don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t forget the fact that even if you give in your 100% it isn’t necessary that things work as you dream – there can be number of situations for where you may have to part – be it for your career, be it for your family, be it anything!
But when you get attached to someone more then yourself the harm you cause is you start feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, you start feeling incomplete in your own presence. Understand yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself first.
Because end of all the only person to accompany you in all phases is yourself – carry something good from every phase and respect your own self.
It was a rainy morning and Sara was on her way to an interview, well prepared and well-dressed believing in her own self to get the job and enter the corporate sector! Hard working she was and now she wanted to fly and this was the gateway. She reached the interview place where she went through rounds of interviews, giving her best shot and there she goes – she was selected. Little did she knew that she had just stepped her first step to the most beautiful phase peeping with so many smiles and happiness in her life! She got another offer to join a recruiting firm in the HR department. Sara – thought over for a while and she finally accepted the second offer to join in the recruiting firm. Happy as always, she joined a little later than the appointment letter date and was set to open her wings to touch the sky! There she met a guy named Amit, more of a senior who was the team leader – a handsome young guy but then still a formal relationship and so started a new journey for this innocent bubbly girl. Sara, was learning new things every single day, every day seemed more of a blessing to explore the white collared people. Looking at the spark in her she was spot by Amit and he insisted on to the directors that he would love to make Sara a part of his team. And so be it, Amit being one of the most trusted employees of the entity was allowed to choose Sara to be a part of his team.
Everything seemed so new and all on track till the day when Sara took an unplanned leave and Oops!! The beautiful dream of everything being so smooth just broke! And there she was fired by the directors! Sara was all shattered, sitting all alone with her tears in the corner of the cabin she had cried buckets and that had no effect on any of the staff people. And the most unexpected happened – her team leader hiding it all from the senior officials got her tissue papers kept in between the note pad so that no one could see it consoled her. He further took a step and once again asked the directors to let Sara a second chance. And history repeated – Sara was given a second chance. This girl was happier than happiest! She found herself lucky enough to have such a senior and could not thank him enough. Gradually they both became good friends and further the friendship extended to meetings after office hours as well but only as casual friends. Sara of course owed Amit for not getting fired. As the formal talks ended, they realized that they had many mutual friends in common, out of which one was the girl whom Amit had a crush on! And SPOT ON! Girls who are good friends can sense the liking of their guy friends easily… So did happen here, Sara deciphered that Amit liked a girl and so she put herself on the Mission to get close to that girl and make things happen for Amit! She started arranging ice cream dates for both of them expecting “A LOT CAN HAPPEN OVER AN ICE CREAM” But then may be destiny had something else written for them. The wait before the date started seemed more interesting than the date itself! The after and before time of the date was waited and prepared for more than the date itself! They liked each other’s company and hardly did they realized that now the ice cream dates had turned to coffee dates where the only people to be meeting were both of them! It was clearly evident that there is something cooking up in their hearts when they went to a local fair, she had again planned the evening in a way where she called up Amit’s crush to the fair so that they could spend some time together and may be the story moves further! She came all decently dressed without any intention to catch anyone’s eye, but then Amit had to skip a beat, his eyes caught him in a way that they just got locked on Sara. He was sitting in a merry-go-round with the girl, he once said he had a crush on! And his eyes moved towards Sara who was in some other ride. In the huge crowd out in the fair, so much of chaos, everyone yelling from one corner to the other they both could manage to find peace and smiles in each other’s eyes. But still they hadn’t yet realized the change. They liked working long hours at office so that they could be with each other. They started sharing the unsaid things. They started reading the unspoken words. They started feeling something different which was beautiful enough and still none of them could express that!
The team leader never favoured but yeah Amit helped Sara with big projects by staying up late. The steaming coffees from coffee machine would steam up the conversations after office where topics ranged from professional to personal to darkest secrets! And still they didn’t realize that they were something more than friends! Amit wasn’t shy but he wasn’t sure and Sara wasn’t shy but she did see the changes happening!
The corporate sector was teaching Sara new tricks every day, it was training her to be competitive every single minute and she loved to prove herself in the race. She changed roles from most junior position to all promotions in the hierarchy, she trained herself to be an all rounder in whatever task she was assigned to. Though this was what her career and her dreams moulded her to, her heart also moulded her to be a caretaker, a nurse and constant alarm clock reminding Amit to take his medicines on time. It so happened that Amit caught a viral which really took a toll on his health. Being the head, he really couldn’t afford taking leaves (even medical leaves, because he too was much a professional when it came to his career) and so he carried his medicines to his desk. High in fever and still had not a single off beat mode while throwing a presentation to his team. But then now there was someone who could read his eyes, who can understand the real pain behind every “I am fine, just a little viral” and that made Sara a nurse as well, without fail there was medicines kept out on the desk at scheduled times, water was boiled and given, on every of his “I will manage” Sara took up the tasks assigned to Amit and helped him as far as possible. Within a week, Amit did recover but then there was something that was changing. Friends had now grown up to be best friends! To be the best task timers to each other, motivating each other to grow in every sense!
They could feel so many feelings! Both had a thousand words to say! They wanted to express! They wanted to hold back each other and say but then things weren’t falling right way! Till the day which may be had only made its place in the calendar for them came – Sara was planning for a weekend with her siblings to a beach and the plans had to be shared with Amit. (after all he was more of her human diary to her). Amit agreed to drop Sara the other day where Sara’s siblings were planning to meet! And the ice in them finally broke! One of them approached with enough guts, a fear as well and a joy as well! They finally decided to take a stand on the proposal once Sara is back from her weekend. Sara went on to the trip. She enjoyed herself. The night before returning she just got drunk, a little extra, more then something what was normal. She had simply lost her senses and had no consciousness of the situations, the drinks simply hallucinated her, her eyes had flash backs of the office coffees, the shy smile of hers when accidentally Amit’s hand touched her hand during a presentation, she could recollect the eye contact they had in fair, she could remember the proposal where the stand was yet to be taken, she was over loaded with all the memories, she could realize the way she cared for him even for the slightest cold he caught, and the way he handled things with directors when any assignment given to her took a little longer then expected. The cold breeze and the camp fire along the beach side were just adding fuel to these thoughts, she got up, picked up Vodka bottle and tried walking with her baby steps which weren’t even supporting her to walk in the direction she wants to. She collided in the soft sand, where the waves were touching her feet, as if playing with her and trying to be naughty with her. She pushed her hand right in the pocket and pulled her cell out. Struggling to open up the screen lock she somehow managed to call up Amit. On the other side, Amit received the call in a go, after all the fragrance of love was throwing its magic back here in Pune as well. Though Amit was physically lying on his bed, he had pulled up his blanket nearly 10 times after himself throwing it down. Both hearts were restless. One was struggling for its peace near the beach side and the other found peace when he saw his screen blink in the mid night. It flashed – SARA CALLING and not to his surprise his heart danced, his hands vibrated and his eyes were finally ending the unrest. He just pounced out from his bed, walked towards the terrace, receiving the call and finally when he heard Sara call him with his name “Hello Amit,” and his heart which was throbbing at a speed higher than a racing bike now calmed its pace! “Yes Sara,” he answered. She spoke and he just heard. The night changed the days, it changed their lives.
Next day, Sara left to Pune, as decided they were supposed to meet at the café in the evening. And today, Sara dressed up, not because she was going out, but because she was gonna see Amit! She didn’t even recollect what all she spoke a night before but yeah; she did realize that it was something which her heart wanted! Something which she was happy with! She was ready to meet Amit! And on the other hand, Amit too was excited, the words Sara said the previous night made him so very comfortable with the situation! They met, even before anything, their eyes could peep in all the thousand thoughts both of them had. They were of course gonna have some serious talks, because they weren’t planning for some teenage affair! Things were serious enough! They spoke through words and even more through eyes! They framed in to each other the ground realities – The Love Story if allowed to bloom was gonna bloom in the garden of diverse cultures of India! The story was not just another typical Romeo-Juliet types! It was all about the cultural differences in the Hindu traditional Family and a Christian Family! It was a Desi Munda who had lost his heart for this beautiful young girl! Where one bowed down in front of elders the other bowed her head only in Church! Where he came from a culture where even the “Mummy k chachi k bete k biwi ki Chacheri Behen” was not too far relation and she had her entire world in her parents! But then love doesn’t understand all this! It just happens! It just connects and when it matches the right frequency it finds its own way to make its survival! When its meant to be – it will be! And Amit held Sara’s hand where both weren’t sure about life commitments at the start! They hadn’t planned anything even for 2 years from now stuff! 23rd of June 2017 – they just dreamt of a beautiful story. They just got themselves on a journey not knowing how long were they gonna travel, not knowing what was their destination. Because they had left it on their hearts! They had asked destiny to decide for them!
They started dating officially! Now Sara, stepped to Amit’s cubicle with a sense of entering her own territory where a part of her was sitting! Things weren’t smooth for them. Though the start was sweet enough. They gradually started having differences in them – they had trust issues, they had arguments, they had fights! Office at times became more of a punishment! The brewing hot coffee from the coffee machine which once stimulated their talks now added steam to their anger! And done! They decided to part off! Unknown of the fact was it a full stop or was is it comma of their love story! They just ended it all! The tough desi munda had tears in his eyes before ending the talks and leaving! And Sara, had this so close to her heart. Because no one ever made saying “BYE” so difficult! Amit was in tears! And so was Sara! They both got reconnected! The tears took their own justice in their own swag! The story was given a second chance by both of them!
And yes! It was worth!! They made it to its best! Then was the day where they had met to decide things for one last time and end it all! And now is the day that every time they meet it is a new planning for a better future! The story faced many ups and downs! Where Sara was depressed, she felt no hopes because of reasons undisclosed but then every time she felt herself alone, there came her support system to stand by her, divide her every tear and multiply her ever smile! He stood by her like a shield when life turned her down and this same guy at times also becomes the cutest baby as small as 3-4 years old kid who will sit quietly in front of Sara, with hands folded and eyes closed and Sara will do the grooming part like his personalized make-up girl! They both fight like cats and bound back like best friends! They dance their every success and stand back together like the phoenix bird! They redefine love!
Sara – who only celebrated Christmas now has so much to shop for on Diwalis as well! And Amit for whom Christmas only meant Santa and cakes -now understands the all-night carols and prayers! The okay-okay hindi of Sara now had words like “AAP and HUM” and rowdy English of Amit had a decent enough accent! Sara’s parents did have a problem with their inter-religion love but then seeing their daughter smile, they too were satisfied that Amit can be the “MOST ELIGIBLE GUY”
This beautiful coupe fighting all odds has finally decided to tie a knot on 31st October 2021! May you guys be blessed with all you dream for!
Nowadays due to jobs, career, education or some or the other reason we have to distance from our families at quite an early age! And once we step of the house maximum is the case that you only return back on functions or occasions and with time that too vanishes!
Joint family is being like rarest scenarios in today’s era! Just tried why joint families are not preferred – simple reasons being – youngsters of our generation need freedom, privacy and hate being monitored!
But these are just a few points where we focus on and tend to forget the benefits or rather the perks of staying in a joint family! Perks are as many as you count. Highlighting a few – a mental support – COVID has tested our mental strength at its peak! And most of the nuclear families did choose going back to hometowns – why – simple reason – family makes you stronger, it makes you believe in yourself when you lose hopes! Family stands by you when your shadow too choses to leave your side!
Feeling of being responsible and answerable to our elders – even the feeling of your father/mother being back at home makes you a little more responsible to be with your family on weekends, to be there at home on time, to shut your system and spend quality time with the kids of family! Decisions taken by youth are hard and fast – many a times we lack patience and calmness in deciding for a situation which can be guided well by the elders as they have seen a little more of world and worldly things than us! We as youth tend to splurge on things which are scrapped within a month whereas the same luxuries can be availed from available things at home!
Children born in nuclear family where both parents have their corporate lifestyles – are either brought up in creche or somewhere where supervision lacks love and warmth every child deserves. Whereas grandparents back at home face loneliness in their retired life – when these two ends meet – they make a better life – kids enjoy their childhood under the shelter of family and are brought up with values. Though working parents try making their best possible way out to train their kids but ultimately time is their constraint which gradually makes one parent compromise their career – and easiest solution being joint family – where kids are constantly attended by some one or the other and grandparents are taken care of with their health as well as. The retired age being the time they just need love, affection and respect is also paid heed to.
And lastly though not of prime importance but yes it does matter – We do have upper hand on financial terms as well – Something described as economies of scale – Two different set ups for sure is costlier than a single set up for two families. Expenses being shared (as simple as rent being shared by two brothers surely saves huge cost then two brothers staying in different apartments in same city) and labour being divided joint family does make your off days a little lighter.
There can be unavoidable situations where we travel far from families but there must be something which does call you back to your origin – where your heart longs to celebrate smallest victory with your parents and share biggest failures and have strength to stand back more stronger!
Of course, there can be arguments that there is no individual space or there is no privacy but then like we as children have evolved many of the families do have parents who themselves take initiatives to make sure that their daughters and daughters-in-law peacefully work and build their careers! Many have set examples where girls have completed their education post marriage and give credits to the support received from their in-laws. So with modernization in all matters – let us just broaden our horizons of joint family concept – where parents are being a little more open to accept the work culture of their children (be it the son or daughter or even daughter-in-law for that matter) and children being a little tolerant to parents at times when they become to instructive, where parents are little more welcoming to include every person before deciding matters of family and children are matured enough to understand the thought process of parents’ decision
After all – everything is a two-way process – the more love and care you give the more affection and respect you receive. The more you tend to understand someone the more other person tends to explain reasons!
I would just conclude by – “No Family is perfect, every family argues, they fight, they cry but the essence of love and bond is felt when the tears are wiped with sensitivity and arguments are calmed with pure hugs, no family has only ups the real bonds are tested when there are downfalls, when your brother stands by you in storms and sisters cook on your smallest victory, where you celebrate your wife’s first job with home-cooked lunch specially made by the in-laws and the ice cream party with her first salary and your child’s first trophy is flaunted by his grandparents on their whatsapp friends’ group!
It’s the smallest happiness which turns to delicious evenings and loads of memories when family stays together! Joint families are no more the old-school types where daughters aren’t a part of discussions and daughters’-in-law aren’t allowed to step out of the house. Weekend evenings are fast turning to dining table conferences where women head the table and men cook food [though kitchen are made messy but then that’s okay ;)], where the small terrace gardens are cared with full family and kitchens are cleaned by kids. Yes – joint families are changing on a very positive note!
Samaj hi nai aaya…
Kal hawa rukh iss kadar badla badla kyu paaya
Andaaz toh unke kal b the wahi
Nazakat toh humaari bhi badli nahi
Fir jaane anjaane mai aise kya hua
Ki ibadat mai mange hum unke liye dua
Safar anjaana tha…
Anjaane toh hum b the…
Fir bhi…kabhi chahkr toh kabhi unchahe…
Hum iss raah par hasskar chal diye…
Hath naa unhone humaara thaama tha…
Naa unka sahara banna humne chaha tha…
Par waqt…
Waqt ne mere maula…
Naa jaane kab usko mera khuda…
Aur mujhe uska jeena bana diya
MILE VO UNSE ANJANE MAI USS ROJ
JAB DIL KO NA TOH THI KHWAISH
NA HI KISI KI KHOJ
NAZREIN MILI AUR LAFZON KA BHI LEN DEN HUA
MULAKAT KHATAM HUYI PAR NAA JAANE KYU
UNKI YAADEIN DIL KO AKELE CHOD NAA PAAYI
HAZARON DAFA KABHI USKI ADAIEN TOH KABHI VO KHUD YAAD AAYI…
HULCHUL TOH HUYI THI DIL MAI…
PAR DOSTI KA PARDA AADE AA GAYA…
PEHEL KON KARE AB ISS KASH-MA-KASH MAI DAAL GAYA…
LADKE KO LAGA KAHI DOSTI NA TUT JAAYE
AUR LADKI SOCHNE LAGI VO SAMNE SE AAYE…
AAKHIR YAHA BHI LADKI NE BAAZI MAAR HI LI…
KAR DIYA IZHAAR…
BINA KOI KHOF KI HOGA INKAAR YA IQKRAAR…
AUR BASS CHAL PADI PYAAR KI YE KASHTI…
SAFAR BASS DO PAL KA THA YA ZINDAGI BHAR KA..
YE NA TOH THA PATA NA HI KOI KHABAR…
PAR FIR BHI USS ANJAANE RAASTE PAR CHAL DIYE
CHALTE CHALTE PATA HI NAI CHALA…
KAB HATH THAM LIYA…
SAMAJ HI NAHI AAYA…
KAB DOSTI AASHIQI MAI BADAL GAYI…
RAHON MAI FOOL BARSAATE
AUR KAATEIN HATATE
PYAAR KA INKE KUCH ALAG THA ANDAAZ
CHOTE BACCHO JAISE JHAGAD NE K INKE ALAG HI H MIJAAJ
EK THA MAA KA LADLA DUJI THI PAPA KI DULARI…
EK KO PIZZA TOH DUSRE KO BHAJI POORI THI PYAARI
EK DUSRE KO GIRAATE BHI YAHI
AUR GIRNE PAR BACHATE BHI YAHI
EK KO MOVIE SCREEN PAR SARSON K KHETON KA I LOVE YOU SIMRAN THA PASAND
TOH DUSRE KO TOD FOD KARNE WALA SINGHAM THA PASAND
PYAAR MAI DOSTI AUR DOSTI MAI PYAAR
INKI KAHANI KA YAHI H SAAR…
MAHINO BEET GAYE
DONO EK DUSRE KO AUR ACCHE SE JAAN GAYE
SIRF ACCHAI NAHI
PAR BOORI AADTEIN BHI DONO KO BHA GAYI
BAAKIYON K JAHA AAJ BREAK UP
AUR KAL KISI AUR SE PATCH UP HOTE RAHE
WAHI YE DONO APNE CHOTE SE GHOSLE K SAPNE SAJATE RAHE
DONO K IRAADEIN BANDAN MAI BANDHANE KI SOCH MAI LAG GAYE…
AASAN TOH NAA SAATH AANA THA…
NAA HI SAATH NIBHANA…
KABHI KHUD KI NOK JHOK
TOH KABHI SAMAJ PARIWAR KI ROK TOK
RUKAWATEIN TOH BAHOT AAYI…
PAR DONO NE BASS THAAN LI…
ZINDAGI EK DUSRE K SAATH SE H BANANI
MOHBBAT MAI MITTE BAHOT H
INHONE SAATH JEENE KI KASMEIN KHAYI…
SHIKAYATEIN SHAYAD AAJ BHI H
AAGE BHI HOGI…
PAR SAATH MAI UNKA HAL BHI INHI K PYAAR MAI H BHAI…
HONSLE TOH BULAND PEHLE BHI THE…
PAR AB BADON K ASHIRWAD SE YE AUR BHI JYADA MAJBOOT H…
SAAT SAALON BAAD
7 FEBRAURY KO KIYA HUA VAADA
AAJ SAAT FERON K SAATH POORA HONE JAA RAHA H
ISSI PYAAR BHARE DIN PAR…
MERA YE CHOTA SA TOUFA KABOOL KARO…
MERE PYAARE BHAIYA BHABHI KO
APNE NAYE SAFAR K LIYE DHER SAARA PYAAR…
BECAUSE SEVEN YEARS IS NOT A SMALL SPAN TO STAND STRONG IN ODDS WHERE THERE IS NO WAY OUT… THERE’S DARKNESS AND STILL YOU STRIVE FOR RAY OF LIGHT PEEPING THROUGH!!!
WISHING YOU ALL HAPPINESS, LOADS OF LOVE AND TONS OF SMILES AND STRENGTHS TO FIGHT BACK EVEN FURTHER…
MORE OFF…. CONGRATS TO MY EVER SMILING, MY BHAI’S WEAKNESS AND HIS STRENGHT, TO THE BUBBLY GIRL WHOSE MY DARLING BHABHI
Did you confess your love to the one you just stared at through the lectures? Did you approach the one whom you have secretly been admiring since weeks and months? Did you express yourself to the one whose one glimpse makes you feel chills in the spine?
Today I would rather like to share my view on the same topic – Expressing love and gratitude!
Guys, do you realize that having a crush is rather easy then collecting the guts to go and express things! It is really a tedious task (of course if you mean your feelings for a lifetime which a rare scenario in today’s time) to confess your feelings to someone whom you look forward to spend a life with. It is like you need to pour the entire pot of feelings in a tiny bottle. Is this article something like – “5 ways to express your love” or “Tips to successful proposal”? Naah, not at all. The next few paragraphs will just tell you how important it is to express yourself, not only that first ever time in life! But that every single time when it is possible to show your care and concern in any relationship.
No one can read other person’s mind each and every time, so don’t be unrealistic to assume things that the person will realize things in an implicit manner and that there’s no need to be expressive in nature! You may love a person very dearly but let your words and your actions mean the same. Let your presence make the person feel a sense of security and warmth.
Expressing for one time doesn’t mean it has an life time effect. You need to be there in times of need, you need to reach out to the person adjusting your problems, you need to be understanding and supportive if you really mean when you say someone is your FOREVER.
Falling in love with a face is easiest job, falling for a soul is something like time taking
Expressing your love is an easy affair, but meaning it for a lifetime is more of hard efforts
And equally important – signing the Archies cards as “my forever and always” is as simple as scribbling ABCD of rough paper but meaning that always and forever is like painting the canvas colorful without colors!
This was a very innocent question I asked my Maa every single time from the time I started fasting on Chaturthi! – “Maa, why is it called Angarki Chaturthi and what is so special about it?” And she would reply when chaturthi falls on Tuesday it is Angarki!
Finally after nearly 7-8 years of Chaturthi I come to know the entire story of Angarki Chaturthi!
So Angarak literally means “red like burned coal”
So Angarak was son of Mother Earth and Rishi Bhardwaj who was great devotee of Lord Ganesha. Lord Ganesha was impressed by Anagarak’s devotion and he asked him to express a wish which Ganesha could accomplish!
Angarak promptly replied – that he wanted his name to be associated with Bappa forever, and there it goes Ganesha granted him a wish that every chaturthi that falls on Tuesday will be named as Angarki Chaturthi
So to all the Bappa fans – Happy Angarki!
(आणि पुणेकर असाल तर एकदा दगडूशेठ ला नक्की भेट द्या!!!!)
Aishwarya Jaju 