Relationships are like seeds – you need to nurture them. The more you care the healthier it grows but if you ignore or over expect it starts shivering from the roots and finally breaks own.
Let me tell you one observation – In case you are very happy (you are feeling very happy) there are high chances that the relationships which matter the most to you are working well. And the exact opposite falls when you are sad it is probably because the relationships you value a lot are not working well.
Everyone of must has deposited money in bank, right? Why can we withdraw money from bank – because we have deposited the money before. Similarly, you can expect back only when you have deposited into it!
This is normal human tendency that every person expects back from any bond that he is attached to. But can we make it simple – deposit so much that you never feel that your withdrawals will be excessive.
Few people are like the fresh flowers – they come, bloom, spread fragrance, dry off and leave. But some are like those cactuses and thorns which stay back no matter what, which stay back irrespective of the weather, irrespective of the time and situations. They just stay back. Keep those cactuses in your life forever. A life with these cactuses is more blessed than a day with fragrant rose.
Relationships require efforts – they require thoughtfulness, they require patience, understanding – most importantly they require time. You can not simply expect someone to climb the Everest in their first attempt to trek, you need constant practise. Same is the case with our human attachments – with time grows the bond.
Summing it up – I would just say – Keep your cactus safe! I am sure everyone has at least one such person in life – express it to them how special they are. Be for them whenever they are in need!
Smile and spread smiles
Dawn of Optimism
The Pandemic has spread its jaws tight in the second wave in India – attacking not only the physical health of the citizens but also affecting the mental fitness.
Everyone out has lost someone either in the family or locality – which has just aired the fire of negativity. Deep inside all of us are craving for thoughts of affirmations, for positivity, for an ounce of hope towards better tomorrow! I couldn’t be luckier in choosing “Viktor Frankl’s” Man’s search for meaning randomly to get this little bit of “hope”
The author being a Nazi Concentration camp survivor has beautifully explained the psychological state of humans in every phases of life – through the ups and downs. Jotting down a few of them which actually threw light on the optimistic sight in me. (Hope it serves you right)
- One instance which an author recalls in a talk where he was shown the pictures of prisoners laying like the haystacks in a room on their sick days – prisoners suffering from the typhus epidemic wearing old rags as clothes resting their wounds on torn shoes – some bleeding and others searching for piece of bread in their torn pockets – the person showing the pictures to the author tried having pity on the conditions in which they survived on which the author’s reaction was surprising when he said that these were the happiest times as we could rest, we could laze and not go out and work. So you see it is all about the perception – every thing can have two perspectives – you need to find the happier one, the positive one.
- Another instance where he focuses on how the prisoners though in misery still had the humanity to think for the other one in the group.
- Hope – was a huge thing that the prisoners of camp were motivated for survival of every day that passed. The times when they were taken from one camp to another rose their hopes to live a better life with lesser pain. The “hope” that one day they will be free helped them survive through the most brutal tortures. (every camp always had an option for prisoners to suicide by touching the electric wire but they still chose to live each day in dreams of freedom)
- This is an extract from the book “I would like to mention a few similar surprises on how much we could endure: we were unable to clean our teeth, and yet, in spite of that and a severe vitamin deficiency, we had healthier gums than ever before. We had to wear the same shirts for half a year, until they had lost all appearance of being shirts. For days we were unable to wash, even partially, because of frozen water-pipes, and yet the sores and abrasions on hands which were dirty from work in the soil did not suppurate (that is, unless there was frostbite). Or for instance, a light sleeper, who used to be disturbed by the slightest noise in the next room, now found himself lying pressed against a comrade who snored loudly a few inches from his ear and yet slept quite soundly through the noise”
All I wanna point out through this blog is – The pandemic has 100s of negative effects but then it is we who are gonna pull ourselves out from this negativity. We can and have to stand up for our families, our friends, our colleagues!! It is gonna be tough each day to stand the scenes of people struggling for oxygen, relatives queing up to bury their near ones but then let us stand tougher against all this. Material help is provided to the country from every corner of the globe, but mental support has to be given by us – you need not have huge bank balance, all you need is a positive mind. If you only can pull your close circle from sinking into dark thoughts – you have done your part of the job! In no time the chain of smiles and hopes for healthier tomorrow will spread.
We are comparatively in a better situation then the people who have survived the world wars, the concentration camps, the Vietnam War and our very own Indian freedom struggle. Back then it was physical torture which is beyond our imagination. Today all we have to do is simple things – wear a mask, avoid gatherings, stay home. We have Netflix, we have thousands of books online which are unread, we have our families with us unlike the wars where families were parted and all what people had was closed gas chambers to threaten them with their death.
Spread the word – stay home, stay safe and stay positive! Very soon there will be a new dawn of health and happiness!
Rat Race
Man eats Man! Does he? Maybe YES! The way the markets compete so competitively it does. You don’t do a task up to the mark and gone, you are no more in the good books of your company. Your promotion sometimes gets a pause due to your own deficiency and at times due to fault in our stars (Just meant you’re not so good luck). Let’s just jot down what are the reasons to stress at your workplace:
1. Different views on the same issue: Might so happen that in a team there are varied solutions on the same issue and your view is that your proposal is the best and there arises conflicts! Can we deal with it in a decent manner – Of course Yes. Let it be mutual decision, let it include the best points of all the ideas so that everyone is included
2. No credits given – Often it happens, that the project you worked on, the success you burnt the midnight oil for is all gone to someone else. And this is an obvious reason to feel lost because it so happens that when you work your heart out for some project you get attached to it, it is like your own baby which you started from the scratch and taken to heights. Though the solutions to this are better while reading but implementation happens to be difficult, we can try resolving things always – you can sit and explain things to your seniors
3. Early promotions of juniors – Okay, this is more of a human behaviour that you naturally have a feeling of superiority when you have been engaged for a longer time with an institute. Just sit back and think calmly – were you really up to the mark, I would like to highlight and say compare your productivity with what you feel you can do and not with someone else. Maybe you were expected to give better results because you had the potential.
Well, you know the problems are just never ending, it is like the more I jot down the more the list increases. You know your own problems much better than anyone else sitting back and just doing the guess work for you. All I wanna just suggest is – you can try this method of resolving your issues – take a place in the corner of your room, or just sit back on the terrace with a pen and blank paper. Divide the paper in 2 halves roughly and write down what you can do and mark yourself out of 10. Like just a self-evaluation of whether you really are giving your 100%
Try this one and I am sure you will have a better picture of what you can do and where you are lagging! You can use that pen-paper technique in many things – just change your headings and use it!!
Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or ping me or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.
Explore Life – don’t have stereotypes
Before reading this one – I just want all of you to close your eyes and just imagine what is your definition of having a perfect life! Ah! I really want you to do that (in fact if you could spare a little extra time just get a pen and paper and roughly jot down what are your few to ideas of your kind off perfect life, a perfect day etc)
How many of you thought of it like – a lavish house, a car, good job and stuff like so. If you must have done this – Congrats! You are very much normal – because that’s the way we have brought up our mind to think! But then this is routine right!? Can we think apart from this – let us try!
Can the definition of PERFECT – not be the labels from the past and be something new and original! Something like – Happy you, sitting back in your garden, enjoying the morning sunlight and treating your eyes with the glimpses of butterflies playing with brightly coloured flowers! Or something like this – which is more soothing to your heart and not only to your pockets. I know many of you must be like – this just sounds good in books but real life needs materialistic things, and I totally agree as well! But all I wanna say is – can those worldly desires be side lined and the other goals which don’t sound to be that conventional be mainstream!
Like why have we just accepted the western culture in terms of their dressings and parties! Why not the other things – Here we have defined age for everything education till 22-24, then marry by 25, then kids before 30s (or else there are unimaginable questions raised) and house, then educate kids(till that time we are already reaching heights of exertion – mentally and physically), then their life is our life (daadi-dada and Naani Nana)! Western Countries do not have a defined age for education – they have enrolments in universities even in their 30s and 40s. They start new ventures even in their late 40s.
Can we just explore our limits of what we can do and all our capabilities! Try it out – take up a weekly challenge that you think of something new every week – the same old thing which you did in a specific manner from years – try doing it differently. You will be happy of creating new things – be it as small as just arranging your study table or normally you cut vegetables long now dice it in small cubes – do things differently. (even psychology, says that this keeps your brain active)
Try out new things and do write back about it in the comments section!
Smile and spread smiles
Don’t be careful!
Reading the title, you guys must be like – Esha, are you fine! What are you talking about – DON’T BE CAREFUL! I really repeat don’t be too careful, don’t try to be too perfect at every task you take up. Planning every phase is okay but not hard-core plans where even an inch of unexpected blasts and Boom!! You get shattered – like oh god! What next! Let there be some innocence left, let there be surprises which life plans for you! If you are too organized those surprises come more like shocks because that wasn’t that you had planned in black and blue.
Prepare well for every upcoming challenge but it is really fine if situations turn your efforts down, maybe there was something better for you. It’s your life not a coded machine where the sequence can be drafted by you. Let things happen. It will be more magical and life will have spice in it!
Do write back about is this helping you in the comments section or just drop mail on letsendthestigma1@gmail.com. I would be glad to hear from you.
Corona and Doctors!!!!
He was travelling back to India nearly after some 18 months! He was going to see his ailing mom, his darling wife and recently graduated sister after so many days, weeks and months. There on the airport waiting in the queue to get the primary check-up done which was mandatory for every international flight passenger due to recent epidemic outbreak of CORONA, he just happened to sneeze and not to his surprise this time his sneeze accompanied him with all eyes looking at him as if he was a culprit in the town, there was no bless-you after the sneeze anymore! People just shifted apart from him, his own family members who were waiting for him were not so eager anymore and insisted on to see the hospitals before. People had concerns of their kids, their families back at home, their future, their health and the list continue! No one wanted this man even in a meter’s radius!
The only person who came and touched was a simple masked doctor, well he too had a wife waiting at home for the night’s dinner, his children waiting to share the day’s stories with him, parents who looked up to him as their support to old age. He too was concerned about his health but still he stepped forward to take this man to a cabin where detailed checks were to be done!
Why this incidence!!??
We see fluent attacks on doctors happening all round the country, there are huge break outs done at their dispensaries or hospitals just because of a natural death of their closed one! Doctors are not GOD!! They are just a medium through which we have hopes to get cured well, through which we see a better and easy lifestyle, they do all they can to save a life but it isn’t magic – that a doctor touches a person and woohoo!! All is done right!!
They are humans, it is a fact that sometimes there are errors and, in their profession, a slightest error costs a life and so they are normally people who are much sincere and committed to their profession! All I want to convey to all of you reading this is – they too have a family back where they are needed, they have never backed out on their responsibility – be it midnights or be it wee-mornings! They have sacrificed their personal lives as well for the betterment of the society! So, as a human being let us be a little sensitive as well and thank them for all they have done and will be doing! Respect doctors – because if they fall short in committing their time and sincerity towards us, epidemics like Corona, Swine flu will be more of disasters for entire human race!!
Proud to be a daughter of two highly committed doctors and also associated with number of doctors directly or indirectly!! Thank you for all your efforts and honest advices which saved 100s of lives till now!!
Zindagi
इंसान जो आता है वो एक न एक दिन वापस लौट जाता है
बस्स इस बीच मैं हर किसी के पास कुछ समय होता है
जिंदगी के नाम से जानते है
इस सफर पर चलते चलते कभी खुद को अकेला समझते है
कभी भीड़ से घिरा हुआ
सफर यादगार बनाने की कोशिश मैं कभी हम खुद को ही भूल जाते हैं
इसलिए कुछ अल्फ़ाज़ लिखे है
ज़िंदगी हर किसी के नसीब मैं नही लिखी है
अगर तू आज भी सांस ले रहा है
अगर तुने आज भी आंखें खोली है
तो यकीन कर उस खुदा पे
तेरे लिए आज भी कुछ खास लिखा ह।
तेरे ज़िंदगी मे उसने और कुछ हसीन पल लिखे है
Everyone who comes leaves one day….
In middle of these two events we live a journey called Life
Penning a few words down…
Life is a gift blessed to the lucky ones
If you have opened your eyes today
If you have seen the morning today….
Trust Him….He has written something good about the day…He has written something more beautiful for you….Yet to be felt!!
Smile and spread smiles
शिकायत
उन्होने कहा हमसे…
शिकायतों की भी अपनी इज्जत है…
यूँही नही किसी से भी की जाती है….
जवाब मैं हमने भी कह दिया उनसे…..
शिकायतें आज कल होती नहीं…
उम्मीदों पर जीते है की आगे भी होगी नही…
पर जिस दिन होगी…
कसम उस खुदा की…
अश्क़ हमारी आँखों से बहेंगे…
और दर्द आप सहेंगे…
You are reflection of your surroundings!
You’re just an imitation of what is around you, its just that you don’t imitate one person; you take bits and pieces of hundred people and make yourself
I was small when my mum always had a concern of all the tiny heads which would flock in our house to play, laugh, complete homework and enjoy the best days of life. It wasn’t the mess we created in and around that dreaded her, it was the children coming home, their upbringing and their culture in which they were brought which was her concern! She was very keen on choosing the right people as friends and I always had a grudge as to its okay whosoever they are! I just play with them and will not be influenced with any of their habits! But then entering the house without a brief introduction of my friends was next to impossible!
Now when I started analysing things myself and knowing the psychology behind her worried eyes, I totally agree to her! You are known by the company you keep! Not because it’s a saying! But because your brain constantly snaps images of the attitudes – be it good or bad of all the people you surround with. These small snaps taken slowly and steadily start throwing impression on our personality! And to be checked out in practise – take an example if your boss is in a grumpy mood and you happen to be the target point as soon as you have taken your seat early morning. You are thrashed and abused in hard words in front of a few colleagues, later you take the same grumpy vibes to the cafeteria which is simply carried ahead to your kids waiting back home. So, you see, you gradually become the way you receive vibes! You read a positive quote and you are all filled with motivation. Atleast for the next few days you work with a new energy and focus!
So, it’s simple – I vibe, your vibe… WE VIBE. Be surrounded with positive people, the optimistic ones, those which send you a positive energy! Those who allow you to be a little better than your best version
Journey!
Don’t focus on the destination, enjoy the journey!
Having a conversation with millionaire who was in his early 70s, verbal sketch was something like – a wrinkled face with a sparkle and a glow flowing out, attire he worn was perfect for a business class meeting (though he was retired man), head covered with dove white silky hair (as if one could play the find-black-hair challenge), hands shivering but still the handshake was firm enough to understand the throw in his personality, he stood all straight without a stick, very meticulously he had a choice about everything – be it what he wore, what he read, what he ate and so on and so forth! Impressed by the way he presented himself to me! I actually looked upon this young-old man to throw light on topics like life, career, future, goals and stuff and initiated the conversation.
And there this man had a crisp to explain me these things – which normally sound as rocket science for teens and a big fat topic for parents to such teens! He just had summarized in words which meant that love what you do! Without the fear of what will be the result. The more you get result oriented, the more mechanical you are. The more you tend to fit yourself in a strict format, the more you happen to be machine. The more you get into stuff of pulling eggs in one basket, higher are the chances to topple and break a few.
He had his view explained right with an array of examples – he asked me to climb the morning in wee morning hours and then notice the way the sky changes it colours from dark night black to beautiful golden orange. The cold breeze that kisses you all the while you push yourself to the top. The silent darkness turning to the chirpy morning. Once you reach the highest point, the journey is over and you arrive to your destination, the view from the top is treat to your eyes because you have seen the canvas of sky with the most beautiful shades, you had felt the chilled morning travel its way through to the first ray of morning. The destination seems better and journey wont tire you even through its longest route if you simply learn to live the process and not the results.
And wow! How impressed I was to acknowledge this thought while recollecting the biggest of my achievements! You too can take it as an assignment! May be while cooking or while on your way back home or while on a walk, think of your biggest heights you reached and you will realize the result gives you satisfaction and sense of completeness but the minute you find yourself smiling acknowledge the memory you just recalled which was a part of the journey you travelled!
Aishwarya Jaju 