The Joint Family System

Nowadays due to jobs, career, education or some or the other reason we have to distance from our families at quite an early age! And once we step of the house maximum is the case that you only return back on functions or occasions and with time that too vanishes!

Joint family is being like rarest scenarios in today’s era! Just tried why joint families are not preferred – simple reasons being – youngsters of our generation need freedom, privacy and hate being monitored!

But these are just a few points where we focus on and tend to forget the benefits or rather the perks of staying in a joint family! Perks are as many as you count. Highlighting a few – a mental support – COVID has tested our mental strength at its peak! And most of the nuclear families did choose going back to hometowns – why – simple reason – family makes you stronger, it makes you believe in yourself when you lose hopes! Family stands by you when your shadow too choses to leave your side!

Feeling of being responsible and answerable to our elders – even the feeling of your father/mother being back at home makes you a little more responsible to be with your family on weekends, to be there at home on time, to shut your system and spend quality time with the kids of family! Decisions taken by youth are hard and fast – many a times we lack patience and calmness in deciding for a situation which can be guided well by the elders as they have seen a little more of world and worldly things than us! We as youth tend to splurge on things which are scrapped within a month whereas the same luxuries can be availed from available things at home!

Children born in nuclear family where both parents have their corporate lifestyles – are either brought up in creche or somewhere where supervision lacks love and warmth every child deserves. Whereas grandparents back at home face loneliness in their retired life – when these two ends meet – they make a better life – kids enjoy their childhood under the shelter of family and are brought up with values. Though working parents try making their best possible way out to train their kids but ultimately time is their constraint which gradually makes one parent compromise their career – and easiest solution being joint family – where kids are constantly attended by some one or the other and grandparents are taken care of with their health as well as. The retired age being the time they just need love, affection and respect is also paid heed to.

And lastly though not of prime importance but yes it does matter – We do have upper hand on financial terms as well – Something described as economies of scale – Two different set ups for sure is costlier than a single set up for two families. Expenses being shared (as simple as rent being shared by two brothers surely saves huge cost then two brothers staying in different apartments in same city) and labour being divided joint family does make your off days a little lighter.

There can be unavoidable situations where we travel far from families but there must be something which does call you back to your origin – where your heart longs to celebrate smallest victory with your parents and share biggest failures and have strength to stand back more stronger!

Of course, there can be arguments that there is no individual space or there is no privacy but then like we as children have evolved many of the families do have parents who themselves take initiatives to make sure that their daughters and daughters-in-law peacefully work and build their careers! Many have set examples where girls have completed their education post marriage and give credits to the support received from their in-laws. So with modernization in all matters – let us just broaden our horizons of joint family concept – where parents are being a little more open to accept the work culture of their children (be it the son or daughter or even daughter-in-law for that matter) and children being a little tolerant to parents at times when they become to instructive, where parents are little more welcoming to include every person before deciding matters of family and children are matured enough to understand the thought process of parents’ decision

After all – everything is a two-way process – the more love and care you give the more affection and respect you receive. The more you tend to understand someone the more other person tends to explain reasons!

I would just conclude by – “No Family is perfect, every family argues, they fight, they cry but the essence of love and bond is felt when the tears are wiped with sensitivity and arguments are calmed with pure hugs, no family has only ups the real bonds are tested when there are downfalls, when your brother stands by you in storms and sisters cook on your smallest victory, where you celebrate your wife’s first job with home-cooked lunch specially made by the in-laws and the ice cream party with her first salary and your child’s first trophy is flaunted by his grandparents on their whatsapp friends’ group!

It’s the smallest happiness which turns to delicious evenings and loads of memories when family stays together! Joint families are no more the old-school types where daughters aren’t a part of discussions and daughters’-in-law aren’t allowed to step out of the house. Weekend evenings are fast turning to dining table conferences where women head the table and men cook food [though kitchen are made messy but then that’s okay ;)], where the small terrace gardens are cared with full family and kitchens are cleaned by kids. Yes – joint families are changing on a very positive note!

#Smile and Spread Smiles

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  Family – Ocean of Happiness and Smiles

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Can we be Indians first?!?

A strict disclaimer before you read this: I am not favoring Hinduism neither do I support Islam, I am not standing for Hindus neither am I with Muslims! I am an Indian and the pandemic has called for national unity and support!!

Independent India was free from chains of the Britishers but unfortunately, we got ourselves engulfed with a more severe form of slavery. When we were ruled by the English men, we were still one to fight against them under one single tag of “WE ARE INDIANS” We never fought for states or communities! India then was also a mixed culture of Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jains and so many other castes and religions which we might even not know! The Indian heart then throbbed in a burkha as well as a gown, in a pagdi as well as saree! We were one and therefore the Britishers had to leave our country granting us freedom in 1947. The only thing they did before leaving was dividing people according to castes and religion! They always believed in divide and rule even when they ruled us and applied the same even when they left our country! The same Indian who once shed blood and sacrificed his family life for his Mother India are now fighting as Hindu and Muslims!

A salute to the Britishers who even after a more than 7 decades manage to keep differences in us! And we fool, fight like idiots! Don’t you stupid get this one bloody fact in mind that a handful of politicians who call themselves as representatives of people and other set of holy men who represent themselves as people of god are simply warming their hands on the riots and chaos caused by us within the country! The latest proof of how foolish we can be is the pandemic being named after a specific religion! What they did was wrong and rather I won’t like to comment on their acts be it the wrong behavior they did with the hospital staff in Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh or be it the irrational thinking to abscond from the hospitals! The things which are wrong are WRONG and there cannot be any justification for the same. But can we stop denoting them as a person from specific caste and tribe and simply designate them as a patient behaving irrationally, can it be as simple as this man has committed a crime and not this Hindu or Muslim has committed a crime!

High time for INDIANS to grow up! The pandemic of Corona Virus is a global concern, it hasn’t seen any caste, community, race, color, status or power – we need to be there for our country men. Let us stand as an Indian first and then fight hard and after that if we still have the energy let us put it in saving humanity. Being religious is different and being a blind follower is different! Have we ever asked that who has constructed the roads we walk on – A Hindu or Muslim? Do we question the source of blood and other organ donations as to who is the done – A Hindu or a Muslim? Do we ask the food we eat, who had grown it – A Hindu or Muslim? We are all inter dependant on each other, if one falls the other to will have a set back! Today when the country is shut down each and every one of needs a mental support, we need each other to talk to, to share with, to speak to. Let us learn to be tolerant to each other’s sentiments. Mistakes happen – some being grave and some being naïve but then when we rectify the mistakes let us not be partial to our community. Crime is a crime – committed by a HINDU OR MUSLIM! There stands no justification for someone’s wrongful acts!

All I wanna convey is let us be humans first! The entire human race is suffering from the same pain, let us stand for our people! Be Indian!! Be a Human!!

Corona and Doctors!!!!

He was travelling back to India nearly after some 18 months! He was going to see his ailing mom, his darling wife and recently graduated sister after so many days, weeks and months. There on the airport waiting in the queue to get the primary check-up done which was mandatory for every international flight passenger due to recent epidemic outbreak of CORONA, he just happened to sneeze and not to his surprise this time his sneeze accompanied him with all eyes looking at him as if he was a culprit in the town, there was no bless-you after the sneeze anymore! People just shifted apart from him, his own family members who were waiting for him were not so eager anymore and insisted on to see the hospitals before. People had concerns of their kids, their families back at home, their future, their health and the list continue! No one wanted this man even in a meter’s radius!

The only person who came and touched was a simple masked doctor, well he too had a wife waiting at home for the night’s dinner, his children waiting to share the day’s stories with him, parents who looked up to him as their support to old age. He too was concerned about his health but still he stepped forward to take this man to a cabin where detailed checks were to be done!
Why this incidence!!??

We see fluent attacks on doctors happening all round the country, there are huge break outs done at their dispensaries or hospitals just because of a natural death of their closed one! Doctors are not GOD!! They are just a medium through which we have hopes to get cured well, through which we see a better and easy lifestyle, they do all they can to save a life but it isn’t magic – that a doctor touches a person and woohoo!! All is done right!!
They are humans, it is a fact that sometimes there are errors and, in their profession, a slightest error costs a life and so they are normally people who are much sincere and committed to their profession! All I want to convey to all of you reading this is – they too have a family back where they are needed, they have never backed out on their responsibility – be it midnights or be it wee-mornings! They have sacrificed their personal lives as well for the betterment of the society! So, as a human being let us be a little sensitive as well and thank them for all they have done and will be doing! Respect doctors – because if they fall short in committing their time and sincerity towards us, epidemics like Corona, Swine flu will be more of disasters for entire human race!!

Proud to be a daughter of two highly committed doctors and also associated with number of doctors directly or indirectly!! Thank you for all your efforts and honest advices which saved 100s of lives till now!!

Educating Footpaths!!!

“In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn!”

Feels proud to share with you small efforts taken by my friends towards a better tomorrow. Under the Hope House, we all gathered as per our convenience and free time to teach the children on the footpaths. The ones who are less privileged and cannot afford schooling were taught to be a part of the civilized society. Experience of which was beyond imaginations. The smile on their faces and the eagerness to learn new things was something that made our Sundays much brighter and better! It was much memorable Sunday then simply spending it on Netflix series or at a theatre. We could feel the smiles connect and heart dance in happiness when the little things we did made up the day to the innocent kids.

All in their wee morning moods were surprised that they were gonna learn something new! All were inquisitive and curious about getting aware about formal education through open schools. Kids out were all from slum areas, living in open, some picking up rags and a few others just making a living by cleaning the cars or polishing the shoes!

The way they clinged us and sat down to learn made us really believe in the thought that “One child, One Book, one teacher, one pen and few thoughts can make miracles happen!!”

I thank Pranav, Sairaj and the entire team to promote such activities and make world a better place to live in! Friends try reaching to such foundations or NGOs in your free time, you need not help financially, instead you can simply give in your time – because that can be biggest donation in today’s time!!!

Smile and spread smiles

Amico!

Few stories just touch your life, few incidences make a home in your heart and never leave that place, a few moments just pass by and we don’t even realize! And the people behind these memories gradually become the MAINS in life – they become the permanent ones!

It was in grade 5 that these three girls met, gelled up and now were inseparable besties! From sharing their tiffin to sharing the first crushes they have even cried nights together on their first heart breaks! Both had a different mindset, a distinctive idea about life and life goals but still neither of the two took smallest decisions without each other! But then this blog happens to just describe one of two darlings – because it is her day today!

Samy, (my future wedding dress designer!!) a girl with a thousand dreams in her eyes, she holds a spark which can illuminate the lives of her loved ones and even burn out the one who thinks ill about her bestie (that’s me!). Our meet was destined at school – Stella Maris High School, where we gelled up as “good friends” with those lunch time talks and assignments. Later, this good friend bond was taken to a next level during the tuition classes. All this happened, when we chose walking with our bicycles then to riding them home so that we could steal some extra time and complete our talks about everything and anything, when we saved our pocket money to treat our choosy tongue with paani-puri, when we went for extra classes so that we could enjoy during the breaks. Life was fun then. It was only about school to home to tuitions to back home again. Never did we thought much about the economic depression of India neither did the ruling parties ever affect us! With farewell in school everyone was lost, people whom we knew for nearly 12 years were now just known strangers. A few stayed back for a year or so and they too were lost – but these girls are still with me. It’s about 18 years and we proudly celebrate every day as a friendship day! It isn’t that we meet up daily or we hangout every weekend. At times it happens that for months we don’t see each other, but the bond remains the same!

Samy, you have really been the best accident of my life! The best “jhagdalu-friend”, the best dumbo, the best melo-drama queen, the typical Punekar-foodie who is ever hungry, the tulsi baug to hong-kong lane wali “i-don’t-bargain” girl, my secret box, my gossip girl whose every call starts – Ae Aishe, tula mahiti ka kay zala, my designer, angry bird and the words might fall short to describe the versatility in this girls behaviour, rather in simple words her mood swings!

Samy, you indeed mean a lot to me (and even Cee). I know tu thoda irritating ahes! But it is okay, we are fine with it! Have a wonderful year ahead darling. Stay blessed and keep smiling because I have enough problems and always new mess to be solved by you!

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY SAMY!!

It is Valentine’s day!

Did you confess your love to the one you just stared at through the lectures? Did you approach the one whom you have secretly been admiring since weeks and months? Did you express yourself to the one whose one glimpse makes you feel chills in the spine?

Today I would rather like to share my view on the same topic – Expressing love and gratitude!

Guys, do you realize that having a crush is rather easy then collecting the guts to go and express things! It is really a tedious task (of course if you mean your feelings for a lifetime which a rare scenario in today’s time) to confess your feelings to someone whom you look forward to spend a life with. It is like you need to pour the entire pot of feelings in a tiny bottle. Is this article something like – “5 ways to express your love” or “Tips to successful proposal”? Naah, not at all. The next few paragraphs will just tell you how important it is to express yourself, not only that first ever time in life! But that every single time when it is possible to show your care and concern in any relationship.

No one can read other person’s mind each and every time, so don’t be unrealistic to assume things that the person will realize things in an implicit manner and that there’s no need to be expressive in nature! You may love a person very dearly but let your words and your actions mean the same. Let your presence make the person feel a sense of security and warmth.

Expressing for one time doesn’t mean it has an life time effect. You need to be there in times of need, you need to reach out to the person adjusting your problems, you need to be understanding and supportive if you really mean when you say someone is your FOREVER.

Falling in love with a face is easiest job, falling for a soul is something like time taking

Expressing your love is an easy affair, but meaning it for a lifetime is more of hard efforts

And equally important – signing the Archies cards as “my forever and always” is as simple as scribbling ABCD of rough paper but meaning that always and forever is like painting the canvas colorful without colors!

Dad and Daughters (2)

This one is from Bride-to-be to her dearest Dad

Well, this goes to that dearest person of life, who might seem very happy today, welcoming the guests there, serving everyone, smiling back to every smile that is caught by him!! This is what the world sees him like!!!!

But Papa, I did notice you a day before (i.e. a day before the marriage) staring at my childhood photos late night, I did see you quietly stepping in my room and just patting my forehead, I did catch a glimpse of you proudly looking through all my trophies and silently just faking a smile. Papa, the world might feel that it’s the best day of life, but deep inside I do know you stand there and cry bitterly, you just wish you could hold on more with the time! Somewhere comes a memory and you remember the first time I spoke a word, the first time I made the tea with buttermilk and you still sipped it like the most tasty drink on earth, the times I came home crying and complaining of someone bullying me at school and you had so much to shout at me for saying be brave I am not going to follow you everywhere but the fact was you were there every time a princess needed his King. Though I am stepping a new phase of life for which you are happiest, the smile does speak out saying – Just a day more with my princess, that just one more cup of tea in evening when mom and you had that Tu-Tu Mai-Mai arguments, that just once more we hold each other’s hand and walk through the nursery campus, just one more time that we could play teacher-teacher and you be my student whom I literally punished on not doing homework, just one more day when we had those cushion fights, unending chit chats, top secrets from Mumma!!

And the night ended, it was the Day, yes it was my wedding day, with a tired mind and weary eyes you still looked the best – My Super Hero. Gradually the day had so many ceremonies and you were somewhere trying to steal a little more time from the clock to stop and so that once again in that red lehenga I would be your smallest doll and we played all sort of games! I did notice all of it, because Papa people understand you by words, but we understood each other by eyes! Finally, came the heaviest part of the day – Bidaai. The last person I wanted to hug was you, because I knew it was going to be an ocean of emotions flowing from both the sides. And then when I hugged you, uncontrollable from both sides had a breakdown of so many memories – and the last wish I asked from you was – Papa the same way I held your little finger and walked to my Pre-school, (crying as if the world was gonna end) I wanna walk down with you, to start my new life where you still remain to be my Super Hero!!!

I just want you to know dad that yeah, as you always said, I am your son. Don’t ever hesitate to call your son back home when you still feel like drinking that evening tea, when you still feel like gossiping when Mumma’s around making her get so jealous of what exactly is cooking up in us!!!

Forever your Princess!!

Imagica!

A wonderful day at Adlabs Imagica – It was truly beyond imagination!! The fun, the thrill and everything was so damn exciting!!! It was truly one of its kind experience with the most amazing people (a group of around 80-85 people from all ages!)…

Sundays like these can’t just be got over so easily!! One more thing – Hats off to all the engineers and master minds behind the construction of unimaginable destination of enjoyment – IMAGICA!!

Personally, I enjoyed the Deep Space ride, The Rajasauraus, The Scream Ride and The Nitro one!! I could feel that fear and thrill both dancing through my stomach to my eyes which met the enthusiastic air through my huge screams!!!

Dad and daughters (1)

This is may be a voice of every small girl to her dad (Indian middle-class family who has his job from morning 8 to say something 6 in the evening)
Papa, today I had a holiday and was waiting for this day from past one week, so that I could tell you my school stories, so that I could make your hair like Justin Bieber, so that I could tie two ponies and put my favourite nail colour on your nails!! I was planning about the day with you so that I could create some memories in my childhood.
Baba, you know I do miss you a lot, When I get up you are already on your way to office, running with your tiffin and you just come back after reaching the door to kiss me a good day to school. Starting the day with your beautiful smile I get ready for my school, dreaming of a day that one day atleast your office goes on strike so that you could leave me to school, so that we could have so many talks and I could tell you how bitterly I miss your hugs and how badly I need you! Back then, when you come home, I am at my dance classes and by the time I come home you are either hooked in to some important presentation for the next day or planning about the monthly budget or may be simply chalking out the expenses of house!! Without disturbing you I just observe you or probably sometimes come and help you with my so called extra fast mathematics additions which you give me so that I don’t start with my chatter box 😉😉!!
The time being so bad it just flies off when you are at home!!
So today, I have decided that the day is ours! I will tell you all the fairy tales I watch on Disney, today I will teach you how to write and how to draw, you know I even learnt to paint a little, Papa, we will also go shopping , I wanna get a new pair of socks for you because yesterday I did notice you hiding your leg behind the chair because of the torn patch on the socks! I wanna show you all the stars I got for neat writing, I wanna spend a morning with you watching the sun touch the sky, I wanna walk a mile with you and see the sun setting, I wanna show you the moon plays hide and seek with me through my bedroom window!
Papa, I was really happy today, because I had a holiday and was gonna spend the entire day at home till the time your phone rang and you had an emergency meeting scheduled in an hour!
I was upset! I was about to cry and the minute you said I have promised the day with my princess, let the meeting be postponed I just ran and hugged you! I had my world with me! I had the most amazing memory of my childhood crafted today!!

(To all the dearest fathers!!! Spend more and more time with your daughters, because tomorrow when you might have time your daughter might have been wedded off!! And you spend hours with all the childhood photos where you were missing due to some important meeting, a business tour or some other upcoming project!!)

Luckiest daughters ever!!!! Papa love you alot

Family time in Goa

A wonderful weekend was spent at Goa!! All new faces and all new stories! And with the end of the journey it was bags of memories filled with enumber of beautiful smiles! Speaking about Goa it was just a stress buster treat to eyes after the heavy schedules of study! Ofcourse every trip is complete with family, few people were missed to the core!

The journey from Pune Junction to Madgaon,Goa was all a package of exchanging formal handshakes and a few faking extra happy smiles with eagerness of what will be next 3 days of Goa be like… Finally dropping down all our luggage at Madgoan Station lifted the friendly wave in all of us!!

Entering the bungalow with ever smiling Geet, the sweety pie Vaishnavi and my photogenic darling baby Samu got our excitement to peak like what next!? After a tiring journey of long wait for bungalow keys the refreshing bath made us all set for the day in Goa! The simply dressed ladies from Pune looked no less than the most beautiful Goan beauties after dressing up!!

3 days just flew off!! With so many games, dance, songs photography sessions, long drives in cradle of nature!!

A really refreshed start was what Goa tour gave me!

Special thanks to you Jaiswal Uncle for arranging the most memorable trip and all of you for a wonderful company!

To catch up all the fun you check all the stories and pics on Instagram