Relationships are like seeds – you need to nurture them. The more you care the healthier it grows but if you ignore or over expect it starts shivering from the roots and finally breaks own.
Let me tell you one observation – In case you are very happy (you are feeling very happy) there are high chances that the relationships which matter the most to you are working well. And the exact opposite falls when you are sad it is probably because the relationships you value a lot are not working well.
Everyone of must has deposited money in bank, right? Why can we withdraw money from bank – because we have deposited the money before. Similarly, you can expect back only when you have deposited into it!
This is normal human tendency that every person expects back from any bond that he is attached to. But can we make it simple – deposit so much that you never feel that your withdrawals will be excessive.
Few people are like the fresh flowers – they come, bloom, spread fragrance, dry off and leave. But some are like those cactuses and thorns which stay back no matter what, which stay back irrespective of the weather, irrespective of the time and situations. They just stay back. Keep those cactuses in your life forever. A life with these cactuses is more blessed than a day with fragrant rose.
Relationships require efforts – they require thoughtfulness, they require patience, understanding – most importantly they require time. You can not simply expect someone to climb the Everest in their first attempt to trek, you need constant practise. Same is the case with our human attachments – with time grows the bond.
Summing it up – I would just say – Keep your cactus safe! I am sure everyone has at least one such person in life – express it to them how special they are. Be for them whenever they are in need!
Smile and spread smiles
Communication
This question peeped through my mind all the while throughout the day as I was sitting on the first bench of my Orientation Programme before starting my articleship days “As to why this 35 hours are a necessity when all you do here is just speak, chatter all round and nothing else?”
The question hovered me even on the last day and I wondered when will it be answered. And yes! It was answered rightly on the very first day of my articleship (where I was interviewed before, which as well included communication skills – because the interviewers didn’t scrutinize my results deeply, all they were interested is the way I present myself). It was my first day of articleship where I was accompanied by my senior and colleagues, and I was handed over a file to compare the TDS as per books, TDS certificates along with form 26AS. I was blank because all this was read in books but I never knew how to download 26AS, neither was I thorough with the accounting software. I kept staring at the files for a while with an awkward look till my senior came and with the bossy voice instructed me – “If you aren’t aware of things, ask for help and start working immediately!!” And then, I understood why was OP conducted, those 35 hours did work miracles and I could get through things.
Basically, not only on the office desk but at every platform communication plays crucial role. Giving you an example how effective communication helps you to make the listeners visualize better and in turn it makes the process of understanding the facts better. Let us just compare – and ask yourself which sounds better and conveys better.
1st way – I started my morning with coffee
2nd way – I opened the chilly winter morning by treating myself with a steaming hot aromatic coffee.
I am sure the second way makes you feel the situation right. Same happens in our teams while working, if we can convey the ideas well, we can convince well and gradually that affects our career growth. There are many ways through which we can be effective communicators like effective listening, reading of facts and having knowledgeable content to share in the right manner with the RIGHT TONE (very important when you are in a verbal conversation)
Simple way to start can be add minute details to your observation and these will be automatically added to your words.
Speak sensible and Spread your ideas.
Self Analysis
I was confused! I was self-analyzing my own steps and thoughts and decisions taken in the past! Was it because of the isolation in lock-down or was is it a result of a deep conversation!? Well the process was memorable to start from the pen and paper jotting down things and thinking over each of the word given as an advice to now where I could find path which can be walked well!
Writing down a few maybe it helps you as well!
- Every age has some rights and some obligations! – A deep line which if given a thought can cut your thinking and corresponding actions as sharp as sword the sword. When a student you have the right to ask for academic help but then you also have an obligation to produce results. In childhood if you have a right to be free of tensions and burdens you have an obligation to keep that childishness alive in you! You cannot skip the bar and mix two ages’ rights and obligations – because that’s the time where you create heavy blunders for your own future.
- Compromise is a compromise till you make it feel the same – If you think on the dilemmas or issues having solutions contradicting your wishes in a way to accept it whole heartedly with a mutual agreement it isn’t a compromise, instead it will be a promise to yourself to stay happy with decisions taken in self-interest!
- Thinking Substance over form – A language used probably in law has got a lot of relevance in real life as well! One cannot think about every scenario in a bookish manner. Like, if one thing is ideal in a specific way, it need not be the same in every circumstance, because the definition of ideal in every situation varies! Think more in substance then the formats.
- You cannot stay happy at cost of others cries –Though I always firmly believed in this, but it was highlighted again. Happiness is something that spreads, and how can you smile when the reason behind the smiles is a thousand tears and bad vibes. Rather it must be rule – that one should not build his own life, ruining 10 other people’s smiles. (I guess, Karma works here better)
- You cannot question your Parents! –The ones who walked with your small steps and held your fingers to make a better life at the cost of every sacrifice that was demanded by time – they cannot be wrong! Under them every problem finds its own solution. Rude at times but they are the only ones who will think for your benefit even if it takes a huge toll on them!
Aishwarya Jaju 