How much does it matter to when others give their opinion to you, how much do you keep thinking when others say something to you…? Definitely a lot. This is what I feel we are growing into
The 5-minute argument with our colleagues, parents, friends, partner, or anyone for that matter disturbs us the whole day.
So, here’s the solution to it. Its natural human tendency to keep thinking when others opinion doesn’t match with ours. But its okay right. You aren’t here to please everyone. there will be a difference of opinion when you do something new.
So, what is the 5by5 rule, all of you must be thinking about it till now
It is simple but will surely be a difficult one to inculcate. the more you start using it will seem easy one then
Are the arguments that you have with someone matter you in the next 5 years, if no then it simply doesn’t deserve your 5-minute attention and energy that you waste today. Quit worrying about things.
Lemme explain it to you with an example, let’s go backwards and think about life, what do you remember in the past, I bet it would be the most significant events and not everything. so, taking another example we recently build a new house and every day the contractor would come with some new reasons to not show up to our place and somehow avoid completing the construction. There was nothing we could do about it. The more we discussed in the house the huger they seemed to us. So, we finally just stopped discussing about them. Coz was that going to matter to me in the next five years, was it even worth wasting our energy onto it. That’s how easy it was. It really astonishes me how little a problem becomes when you start thinking with a perspective of the future
Of course, there are big things and tragedies that we can’t forget in a span of 5 minutes, but this rule is for the little things we stress upon almost every other day.
Definitely many of you might think I’m too small to speak up to all these things but why not learn these things at a tender age so that people don’t need to use the terms like depression, loneliness, anxiety much often.
I hope I impact lives of at least 5 and not many. And the rule stays with you forever, I’m sure it will work magical for you too.
This question peeped through my mind all the while throughout the day as I was sitting on the first bench of my Orientation Programme before starting my articleship days “As to why this 35 hours are a necessity when all you do here is just speak, chatter all round and nothing else?”
The question hovered me even on the last day and I wondered when will it be answered. And yes! It was answered rightly on the very first day of my articleship (where I was interviewed before, which as well included communication skills – because the interviewers didn’t scrutinize my results deeply, all they were interested is the way I present myself). It was my first day of articleship where I was accompanied by my senior and colleagues, and I was handed over a file to compare the TDS as per books, TDS certificates along with form 26AS. I was blank because all this was read in books but I never knew how to download 26AS, neither was I thorough with the accounting software. I kept staring at the files for a while with an awkward look till my senior came and with the bossy voice instructed me – “If you aren’t aware of things, ask for help and start working immediately!!” And then, I understood why was OP conducted, those 35 hours did work miracles and I could get through things.
Basically, not only on the office desk but at every platform communication plays crucial role. Giving you an example how effective communication helps you to make the listeners visualize better and in turn it makes the process of understanding the facts better. Let us just compare – and ask yourself which sounds better and conveys better. 1st way – I started my morning with coffee 2nd way – I opened the chilly winter morning by treating myself with a steaming hot aromatic coffee.
I am sure the second way makes you feel the situation right. Same happens in our teams while working, if we can convey the ideas well, we can convince well and gradually that affects our career growth. There are many ways through which we can be effective communicators like effective listening, reading of facts and having knowledgeable content to share in the right manner with the RIGHT TONE (very important when you are in a verbal conversation) Simple way to start can be add minute details to your observation and these will be automatically added to your words.
Don’t focus on the destination, enjoy the journey!
Having a conversation with millionaire who was in his early 70s, verbal sketch was something like – a wrinkled face with a sparkle and a glow flowing out, attire he worn was perfect for a business class meeting (though he was retired man), head covered with dove white silky hair (as if one could play the find-black-hair challenge), hands shivering but still the handshake was firm enough to understand the throw in his personality, he stood all straight without a stick, very meticulously he had a choice about everything – be it what he wore, what he read, what he ate and so on and so forth! Impressed by the way he presented himself to me! I actually looked upon this young-old man to throw light on topics like life, career, future, goals and stuff and initiated the conversation.
And there this man had a crisp to explain me these things – which normally sound as rocket science for teens and a big fat topic for parents to such teens! He just had summarized in words which meant that love what you do! Without the fear of what will be the result. The more you get result oriented, the more mechanical you are. The more you tend to fit yourself in a strict format, the more you happen to be machine. The more you get into stuff of pulling eggs in one basket, higher are the chances to topple and break a few.
He had his view explained right with an array of examples – he asked me to climb the morning in wee morning hours and then notice the way the sky changes it colours from dark night black to beautiful golden orange. The cold breeze that kisses you all the while you push yourself to the top. The silent darkness turning to the chirpy morning. Once you reach the highest point, the journey is over and you arrive to your destination, the view from the top is treat to your eyes because you have seen the canvas of sky with the most beautiful shades, you had felt the chilled morning travel its way through to the first ray of morning. The destination seems better and journey wont tire you even through its longest route if you simply learn to live the process and not the results.
And wow! How impressed I was to acknowledge this thought while recollecting the biggest of my achievements! You too can take it as an assignment! May be while cooking or while on your way back home or while on a walk, think of your biggest heights you reached and you will realize the result gives you satisfaction and sense of completeness but the minute you find yourself smiling acknowledge the memory you just recalled which was a part of the journey you travelled!
I love social events and so be it a simple birthday or huge fat wedding, be it a religious one or a normal get-together I will make sure to be present and shake hands with new people enhancing my network. Last Sunday, after the morning break fast at Mama’s place and whole day long cake workshop, the social bee in me took me to “Maheshwari Samaj’s Sankrant Milan (a small function where we had dance competitions, games for ladies followed by dinner).
I would just like to share a very beautiful incidence that happened – After all the performances everyone proceeded to the dinner counters. Every thing seemed normal till the time people started approaching the Used plates counter. It is quite usual that even if you don’t throw food in waste bin at your own homes, when one is in such social gatherings – we simply try tasting every item placed on the counter and throw the ones we did not like much. Same did happen that evening, people started trying on all items and when they were full, the rest of the items in plate were taken to the Used Plate counter to be washed off with the plates!
What was new in this – There were two men (Mr Krishna Saboo and Mr Bang) standing voluntarily near the USED PLATE Counter wearing a smile on their faces informing all those who arrived with food in their plates (which was to be thrown) to get empty plates or else they will eat the leftovers!! Amazing and Hats Off to the efforts taken for an attempt to avoid wastage of food! People had to eat all that they had taken in their plates and that day there was not a single bread which was wasted!
Thankful to the attempt taken by you people. It is truly a lesson of not wasting food, as well as an example of how things can be conveyed in a simple way without any show-off!
(Accept this blog as a token of gratitude on behalf of everyone!)