End the Stigma

Sushant Singh Rajput!! A name in the industry which had no GODFATHER! He made his own place and he made his own name! It was something like HE CAME, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED (OUR HEARTS)!!

And then out of nowhere, a Sunday afternoon comes up a pop up! Sushant Singh Rajput hangs himself at his Bandra residence! He had money – so there were no financial crunches which means money was not an issue, he had fame – that too wasn’t the concern, people loved him – that too didn’t bother! What mattered was – in spite of all of the riches he was unfit – NOT PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY! A topic much ignored and overrated to be fools thing to talk over this! How many of you face stress and are ashamed to accept that yes you need help! Come on Yaar!! We are humans not machines!

The difference in us and robots is just that we can feel things! Can we be a little sensitive when we open our mouth to criticise others and can we be a little open to accept that yes!! We do face mental stress!! And it is OKAY to say that you can not take it anymore! That doesn’t make you a weak or coward human! Accepting your flaws is the art to live happy – let’s do that!!

Here is an open help to all of you there who are struggling to speak to someone! You won’t be judged because there will be no direct communication! You won’t be criticised because here you will be talking to just a better version of yourself! You can feel free to simply drop your problems and issues on this Mail ID – letsendthestigma1@gmail.com!  

We will be speaking over this in the upcoming few blogs! Stay connected and share your problems!

Its better to talk to some one and solve each other’s problems rather than simple crying on funeral and wishing that you could be a help! ACT WISELY! ACT NOW!

Communication

This question peeped through my mind all the while throughout the day as I was sitting on the first bench of my Orientation Programme before starting my articleship days “As to why this 35 hours are a necessity when all you do here is just speak, chatter all round and nothing else?”

The question hovered me even on the last day and I wondered when will it be answered. And yes! It was answered rightly on the very first day of my articleship (where I was interviewed before, which as well included communication skills – because the interviewers didn’t scrutinize my results deeply, all they were interested is the way I present myself). It was my first day of articleship where I was accompanied by my senior and colleagues, and I was handed over a file to compare the TDS as per books, TDS certificates along with form 26AS. I was blank because all this was read in books but I never knew how to download 26AS, neither was I thorough with the accounting software. I kept staring at the files for a while with an awkward look till my senior came and with the bossy voice instructed me – “If you aren’t aware of things, ask for help and start working immediately!!” And then, I understood why was OP conducted, those 35 hours did work miracles and I could get through things.

Basically, not only on the office desk but at every platform communication plays crucial role. Giving you an example how effective communication helps you to make the listeners visualize better and in turn it makes the process of understanding the facts better. Let us just compare – and ask yourself which sounds better and conveys better.
1st way – I started my morning with coffee
2nd way – I opened the chilly winter morning by treating myself with a steaming hot aromatic coffee.

I am sure the second way makes you feel the situation right. Same happens in our teams while working, if we can convey the ideas well, we can convince well and gradually that affects our career growth. There are many ways through which we can be effective communicators like effective listening, reading of facts and having knowledgeable content to share in the right manner with the RIGHT TONE (very important when you are in a verbal conversation)
Simple way to start can be add minute details to your observation and these will be automatically added to your words.

Speak sensible and Spread your ideas.

Self Analysis

I was confused! I was self-analyzing my own steps and thoughts and decisions taken in the past! Was it because of the isolation in lock-down or was is it a result of a deep conversation!? Well the process was memorable to start from the pen and paper jotting down things and thinking over each of the word given as an advice to now where I could find path which can be walked well!

Writing down a few maybe it helps you as well!

  1. Every age has some rights and some obligations! – A deep line which if given a thought can cut your thinking and corresponding actions as sharp as sword the sword. When a student you have the right to ask for academic help but then you also have an obligation to produce results. In childhood if you have a right to be free of tensions and burdens you have an obligation to keep that childishness alive in you! You cannot skip the bar and mix two ages’ rights and obligations – because that’s the time where you create heavy blunders for your own future.

 

  1. Compromise is a compromise till you make it feel the same – If you think on the dilemmas or issues having solutions contradicting your wishes in a way to accept it whole heartedly with a mutual agreement it isn’t a compromise, instead it will be a promise to yourself to stay happy with decisions taken in self-interest!

 

  1. Thinking Substance over form – A language used probably in law has got a lot of relevance in real life as well! One cannot think about every scenario in a bookish manner. Like, if one thing is ideal in a specific way, it need not be the same in every circumstance, because the definition of ideal in every situation varies! Think more in substance then the formats.

 

  1. You cannot stay happy at cost of others cries –Though I always firmly believed in this, but it was highlighted again. Happiness is something that spreads, and how can you smile when the reason behind the smiles is a thousand tears and bad vibes. Rather it must be rule – that one should not build his own life, ruining 10 other people’s smiles. (I guess, Karma works here better)

 

  1. You cannot question your Parents! –The ones who walked with your small steps and held your fingers to make a better life at the cost of every sacrifice that was demanded by time – they cannot be wrong! Under them every problem finds its own solution. Rude at times but they are the only ones who will think for your benefit even if it takes a huge toll on them!

 

Stay Active, Stay Focused!!

I was just lazing on the sofa waiting for mom to get me the evening coffee after cancelling the plan of me making coffee for everyone just because I had to get up and walk all the way through hall and pull things down to make coffee and get it for all. In short, I was lazily just turning myself in every way possible to fit in on the sofa with all soft toys. The steaming hot tea cup finally managed to blow off the chilled attitude of mine and I switched the TV to get some updates on the pandemic. And while random switching I came across this interesting news, rather a short snap story of couple in drought prone region of Maharashtra, this couple who may be stood in their early 40s, managed to dig a well 25 feet deep without any heavy machinery. They started from the day; the Prime Minister announced the nation to be locked down. And within less than a month they dug this well which now not only had enough water for this family but also enough water to feed their cattle and neighbours.

And I just got a “KICK”, like these people whom we so called refer as villagers or the less learned people have utilized their time much more effectively then we as civilized and extra learned people do. I just took a quick look back to what we do here in cities since the lock down was announced! And realized – the students who had their exams find reasons like the atmosphere is too negative and we cant focus on our studies, the newly qualified who are yet to find jobs have seen enough series on Netflix and Amazon, scrolling whatsapp, posting old pics on Instagram with captions like “Life before lockdown” and the way we have wasted our 20-25 days is just pathetic. Listening to the story of this couple I actually got charged like – Bro, if these people can make their way through difficulties we too can. Yes the lock down has affected us mentally but then we can be our own motivators rightly!!

Let us take charge of our own selves! Every effort in right direction is going to be a task towards betterment of the economy which will help our global family to get out of the crisis. Stay home and be creative. Every one surely will have something in addition. Stay focused Stay Home and Stay active.

close up photo of black ceramic mug
Photo by Olenka Sergienko on Pexels.com

Can we be Indians first?!?

A strict disclaimer before you read this: I am not favoring Hinduism neither do I support Islam, I am not standing for Hindus neither am I with Muslims! I am an Indian and the pandemic has called for national unity and support!!

Independent India was free from chains of the Britishers but unfortunately, we got ourselves engulfed with a more severe form of slavery. When we were ruled by the English men, we were still one to fight against them under one single tag of “WE ARE INDIANS” We never fought for states or communities! India then was also a mixed culture of Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jains and so many other castes and religions which we might even not know! The Indian heart then throbbed in a burkha as well as a gown, in a pagdi as well as saree! We were one and therefore the Britishers had to leave our country granting us freedom in 1947. The only thing they did before leaving was dividing people according to castes and religion! They always believed in divide and rule even when they ruled us and applied the same even when they left our country! The same Indian who once shed blood and sacrificed his family life for his Mother India are now fighting as Hindu and Muslims!

A salute to the Britishers who even after a more than 7 decades manage to keep differences in us! And we fool, fight like idiots! Don’t you stupid get this one bloody fact in mind that a handful of politicians who call themselves as representatives of people and other set of holy men who represent themselves as people of god are simply warming their hands on the riots and chaos caused by us within the country! The latest proof of how foolish we can be is the pandemic being named after a specific religion! What they did was wrong and rather I won’t like to comment on their acts be it the wrong behavior they did with the hospital staff in Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh or be it the irrational thinking to abscond from the hospitals! The things which are wrong are WRONG and there cannot be any justification for the same. But can we stop denoting them as a person from specific caste and tribe and simply designate them as a patient behaving irrationally, can it be as simple as this man has committed a crime and not this Hindu or Muslim has committed a crime!

High time for INDIANS to grow up! The pandemic of Corona Virus is a global concern, it hasn’t seen any caste, community, race, color, status or power – we need to be there for our country men. Let us stand as an Indian first and then fight hard and after that if we still have the energy let us put it in saving humanity. Being religious is different and being a blind follower is different! Have we ever asked that who has constructed the roads we walk on – A Hindu or Muslim? Do we question the source of blood and other organ donations as to who is the done – A Hindu or a Muslim? Do we ask the food we eat, who had grown it – A Hindu or Muslim? We are all inter dependant on each other, if one falls the other to will have a set back! Today when the country is shut down each and every one of needs a mental support, we need each other to talk to, to share with, to speak to. Let us learn to be tolerant to each other’s sentiments. Mistakes happen – some being grave and some being naïve but then when we rectify the mistakes let us not be partial to our community. Crime is a crime – committed by a HINDU OR MUSLIM! There stands no justification for someone’s wrongful acts!

All I wanna convey is let us be humans first! The entire human race is suffering from the same pain, let us stand for our people! Be Indian!! Be a Human!!

person holding sign

Letter from Indian Doctor

Hello Friends,

Being into this noble profession from nearly 26 years I have seen many ups and downs, I have enjoyed many perks in this profession – like being pampered by my family patients like a family member, being a part of their every personal problem as well as social gatherings, being respected and honoured in many of the social drives and on the darker phase I have also seen attacks on hospitals and doctors, but then yesterday (22/03/2020 – Janta Curfew Day) what I saw was something like never before!

The way citizens of India responded to the activity of applauding for all the working people was “ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME” experience for all of us! We as General Practioners are a small part of this contribution of fighting against CORONA but then still all those patients in my contact list who has always been supportive had so much gratitude to express – making me feel lucky and all worth of burning the midnight oil for all of you, answering the late night calls and opening the doors at 2:00 am as well!

I had all flashbacks reading your whatsapps (and none of them were forwarded!!) – the way a few of you have grown up in front of me, from the first cries to the first walks – I witnessed it all like a family member, the way you came running with your child when he fell from the bicycle, the way I have counselled younger generation to work for betterment, the times you shared your success stories with me and also came to me on an unexpected failure, the way a couples shared the typical “He doesn’t help me with household chores and She doesn’t cook food like my mother did” fights and the list has no end!

All your messages along with the videos and images of you clapping, ringing bells captioned in a way which read like – “Sir we clapped for you”, Doctor we are thankful to have you as a family”, You have been a part of our family since I was born and still with us when my baby is born”.

Trust me it feels overwhelmed, it feels more motivated to work for all of you. There are times when we do feel down, we feel helpless seeing the number of deaths but then acts like these make us feel that we are dealing with a greater responsibility and YES! We have to do it! Corona has to go back – we all are one and we will fight it back!

An Appeal to all my doctor friends – its very natural to feel unsecured in your regular OPDs to take care from this disastrous virus as not all of us have the safety primary kits with those surgical gowns and huge masks (and the thought that we too have a family back waiting for us) – but then try through your small efforts to help all those who need us, the society has given us abundantly – it is our time to stand for our people. I wont say open up your small dispensaries (because on a genuine note, small clinics do not have those huge facilities and more importantly the patients walking in are random and we are unaware of the travel history and other facts) but then be available for your extended families on calls where you can atleast guide them through these bad times. People have panicked and we can show the right way through! Your small efforts will surely contribute towards nation building!

Lastly, I am always there for all those who have always made me feel home, who have given my degree and my learnings a true meaning, who have shared all their good and bad times with me! We are all one and we will pull each other from this phase too!!

I also salute to all those fighters fighting their way through this epidemic be it the 5% people working in government offices to handle the load of the entire state, the nurses and ward boys who have been constantly working with us, the media people, the drivers, the police and entire Government – specially for the quick actions taken by our CM Shri Uddhav Thackeray, Health Minister Shri Rajesh Tope and our beloved PM Shri Narendra Modi.

We are working – you stay at home!!

 

Lots of love and thankfulness to all of you!!

From a “Responsible citizen to Another Responsible Citizen!!”

Corona and Doctors!!!!

He was travelling back to India nearly after some 18 months! He was going to see his ailing mom, his darling wife and recently graduated sister after so many days, weeks and months. There on the airport waiting in the queue to get the primary check-up done which was mandatory for every international flight passenger due to recent epidemic outbreak of CORONA, he just happened to sneeze and not to his surprise this time his sneeze accompanied him with all eyes looking at him as if he was a culprit in the town, there was no bless-you after the sneeze anymore! People just shifted apart from him, his own family members who were waiting for him were not so eager anymore and insisted on to see the hospitals before. People had concerns of their kids, their families back at home, their future, their health and the list continue! No one wanted this man even in a meter’s radius!

The only person who came and touched was a simple masked doctor, well he too had a wife waiting at home for the night’s dinner, his children waiting to share the day’s stories with him, parents who looked up to him as their support to old age. He too was concerned about his health but still he stepped forward to take this man to a cabin where detailed checks were to be done!
Why this incidence!!??

We see fluent attacks on doctors happening all round the country, there are huge break outs done at their dispensaries or hospitals just because of a natural death of their closed one! Doctors are not GOD!! They are just a medium through which we have hopes to get cured well, through which we see a better and easy lifestyle, they do all they can to save a life but it isn’t magic – that a doctor touches a person and woohoo!! All is done right!!
They are humans, it is a fact that sometimes there are errors and, in their profession, a slightest error costs a life and so they are normally people who are much sincere and committed to their profession! All I want to convey to all of you reading this is – they too have a family back where they are needed, they have never backed out on their responsibility – be it midnights or be it wee-mornings! They have sacrificed their personal lives as well for the betterment of the society! So, as a human being let us be a little sensitive as well and thank them for all they have done and will be doing! Respect doctors – because if they fall short in committing their time and sincerity towards us, epidemics like Corona, Swine flu will be more of disasters for entire human race!!

Proud to be a daughter of two highly committed doctors and also associated with number of doctors directly or indirectly!! Thank you for all your efforts and honest advices which saved 100s of lives till now!!

Can you UN-LOVE Someone (Part -2)

Ananya – love is a feeling, it’s something that your heart feels for someone you are very comfortable with. Can a flower un-bloom and go back to be a bud, can a tree go back to be a small sapling, can you be a baby again – NO, right? That was a process witnessed. Same is love, it’s a beautiful journey you travel. Sometimes things work and at times they don’t. Just because you couldn’t make up to the destination doesn’t of course mean that you scramble up the entire journey! Just because you couldn’t end up in togetherness doesn’t mean that the time spent with the him were shit scrap! Ananya, sometimes God takes a person away because he has some plans for you in life, may be because he has got a better destination for you!

With that puppy face of hers and tears pouring out as if she will be filling buckets out of it, she asked me – Aisha, then why does God even take us to the wrong journey when he already knows that the destination won’t be met? And again, the unknown source of philosophy on me had to explain her saying – “Ananya, when you have evening walks holding your dad’s hand and just walk, do love the walks or do you love coming back home!? And she as innocent as baby answered the question saying I love our talks on the way! I love the time we spend, the silent streets and its me who chirps and dad who listens to the non-stop FM radio of mine! She went on elaborating till the time she herself realized the point and simply said “But Aisha, the situation is different, whenever I walk along with another guy, I remember the past! I accept the journey was one of the most mesmerizing one but then I can’t get over it!

Now what was there which I had to explain her regarding this statement of hers! Of course, I couldn’t end the discussion abruptly but this was also a dark truth that I had no words which could help her out at the very moment and so I finally got up… let myself to the window where fresh air took me to better thought processing! And Ananya followed me! She scribbled her name on the window pane and looked to my eyes expecting an answer!

And there I start again… felt as if the cool breeze was flowing through my words – Ananya, I went on – Tell me one thing what happens when you are too happy all the time – Answering the question myself I said – Look you cant be succeeding all the time, you cant have all the happiness at a stretch, you can’t always find yourself in the best places – because if that happens so then what will the magic be in dreams. We dream of things which are difficult. We don’t dream of eating an ice cream or simply walking down the street, do we? No, because we know that those are simplest things and they happen as if they are the routine!

To make one-self strong you need to go through rejections, failures and fall through a few phases in life. The way you warn yourself to run slowly over bad roads! The way you warn yourself before touching hot glass of milk! Similarly, your heart also needs to go through some ups and down to understand what is right and what is wrong, to decipher what hurts and what heals, to feel love and fall in love! Ananya it is a process and you can’t skip it gal!! You need to make yourself strong from all of this and face it all like lady not like a childish girl! My words were making their way through her heart and wow the smile I could see through her tears was a million dollar one! Felt like it was all done! I know she wasn’t convinced with the thought forever but yeah, she did acknowledge that though you can’t unlove someone, but you can surely fall in love once again and still be happiest! And I was happy to gift myself a self-declared position of a philosopher!

 

Love is one of purest feeling you can ever experience. You may fall in love and bruise yourself, you may feel the love and hurt yourself, you may even find yourself the most messed up when things go wrong in love! All I can always say is – LOVE CAN’T EVER BE WRONG!! You may love the wrong person, you may fall for a person at a wrong time! But as long as your heart feels your right! Love can’t ever mislead you! Love and spread love!

 

Can you UN-LOVE someone!? (Part 1)

It was a chilly winter midnight, where the only warmth around me was my childhood friend – Ananya- the non-stop chitter chatter. It was the fourth mug of coffee throwing up steams and refreshing the room with the aroma of coffee beans which acted more like a catalyst to our brains and helped us walk down the memory lane where we revisited our kindergarten small shoes and hanky pinned uniform to the high pony and short skirts in high school. The first ever class we bunked and did nothing other than smelling the camphor balls in the washroom, the first ever stage play where my chatter queen was just an idol! The first dance where we wanted to apply all the shades of eye colors, make our cheeks as red as that of a clown and flaunt off as if we were the only girls on planet Earth! We grew and so did our talk progress – till a point of time our cheeks only had a smile, a feeling of how beautiful school was and how amazing the teachers were then.

One more mug of coffee was down and we realized that the smiles made our cheeks pain, sitting on the kitchen top with all albums from school to college to graduation to post graduation and finally being placed the clock stroke 4:00 am and we still had to revisit the most of abnormal days of life! And suddenly Ananya had her fingers stop on a picture, she gazed at it and even the hot coffee mug that touched her baby soft skin could not get her out of the land that the picture took her to.

She just looked at me, her beautiful eyes expressed the emotions the picture took her through, the tears elegantly clinged her eyes as if a pearl was placed. The tear didn’t flow off and she simply uttered a question – Aisha, can we un-love someone? Can we unwind life? Can a series of good memories be simply deleted forever and ever? And she stopped, she didn’t have a single emotion on her face! The entire chirpy night was now taken to a silent closed room where even slightest breeze touching the window panes felt like a mini disaster, I could feel the coffee cold which was as if adding to the sad atmosphere. She looked at me with all questions as if they were screened in her eyes. I just quickly cleared of the other pictures to make a place to sit by her, held her baby soft pink which froze like ice, still clueless of what was I gonna explain her by getting into this philosophical pose. I just looked into her eyes and as if there was someone speaking from me – I shot a big lecture as if I was working on a research paper on the topic!

And Aisha had so much to explain about all this!!! Which will be seen in Part II very soon!!!!

Love and Spread Love!!

boy and girl sitting on bench toy
Un-LOVING is not an easy task but can be a step towards better self!!

Zindagi

इंसान जो आता है वो एक न एक दिन वापस लौट जाता है

बस्स इस बीच मैं हर किसी के पास कुछ समय होता है

जिंदगी के नाम से जानते है

इस सफर पर चलते चलते कभी खुद को अकेला समझते है

कभी भीड़ से घिरा हुआ

सफर यादगार बनाने की कोशिश मैं कभी हम खुद को ही भूल जाते हैं

इसलिए कुछ अल्फ़ाज़ लिखे है

ज़िंदगी हर किसी के नसीब मैं नही लिखी है

अगर तू आज भी सांस ले रहा है

अगर तुने आज भी आंखें खोली है

तो यकीन कर उस खुदा पे

तेरे लिए आज भी कुछ खास लिखा ह।

तेरे ज़िंदगी मे उसने और कुछ हसीन पल लिखे है

Everyone who comes leaves one day….

In middle of these two events we live a journey called Life

Penning a few words down…

Life is a gift blessed to the lucky ones

If you have opened your eyes today

If you have seen the morning today….

Trust Him….He has written something good about the day…He has written something more beautiful for you….Yet to be felt!!

Smile and spread smiles